I’ve heard a lot of anti-gay rhetoric. I live in the Bible Belt where there seems to be a genuine fear that they are going to “catch the gay“. There is a lot of statements about how people don’t want gays in their neighborhood, schools, workplace, restaurants, or churches too. I have to assume that they truly believe that it is somehow contagious and they are afraid that they too, will become gay.
I have also read a lot about how people are gay from birth, as well as arguments that people are homosexual because of their upbringing, experiences, choices, etc. I can’t answer those questions, and that’s not what this blog post is going to address. I’m only going to look at the fear of “catching the gay.”
I have had a number of friends who were homosexual over the years. I’ve gone camping with them, eaten meals with them, cooked and laughed with them, and on occasion, even shared a drink with them. I’ve had plenty of opportunity to “catch the gay.”
I don’t have a single symptom of being gay.
I’m married, I’ve had kids, and I’m totally comfortable with my sex life as a monogamous heterosexual. I don’t feel threatened by gays, whether male or female, unless they are armed and specifically state that they are threatening me. Of course, I would feel equally threatened at that point, regardless of sexual orientation. I have to also admit that I have never once asked anyone who was threatening me with bodily harm about their sexual orientation. It just never seemed relevant at that point. The assailants that were known to me also happen to not be gay, so I also don’t regard homosexuals as potentially threatening individuals.
I’ve also heard that homosexuals are basically child molesters in training. Thinking back to the years that I worked in law enforcement and corrections, I try to remember a single case involving a convicted child molester also being a homosexual. Guess what? I don’t remember any. That’s not to say it is impossible, but I don’t think the two have anything to do with each other.
The next bit I hear is how the Bible specifically forbids homosexuality. Well, sure it does, but the Old Testament has a lot of things that we don’t regard as moral or legal in modern society, like incest, polygamy, stoning, etc. Besides, what happened to that bit about separation of church and state that is in our constitution? Or maybe the whole bit about “thou shalt not judge”? Or even all that bacon, sausage, pork chops, etc. that America buys in the grocery store each year…that is forbidden too, if you want to get right down to it. So, we’ll toss out that Old Testament bit, and the New Testament mostly talks about tolerance and love, and stoning homosexuals is definitely out.
I’ve also been told how the gay community and especially same sex marriages are going to threaten the “sanctity of marriage.” When it comes out of the mouth of a man who has been repeatedly divorced or has been publicly pointed out for extra-marital affairs, that’s hardly going to fly. Personally, I just don’t get the sanctity of marriage thing when 50% of marriages in the USA end in divorce in 5 years or less. I also don’t see where having a gay couple who is married as neighbors is going to threaten my marriage, unless my husband was going to “catch the gay” (since I’m obviously immune to it.) I also don’t think that a gay couple’s children are going to “catch the gay” or expose my children or grandchildren to the risks of “catching the gay.”
Homosexuality isn’t a disease, and it isn’t a virus. You can’t catch it. You either are or you aren’t, that’s all. Okay, there are people who are bisexual, but that’s another thing entirely. I’m not addressing that. Since I’m not bisexual or homosexual, I can’t pretend I understand how or why it is. The only person that truly knows your own sexual orientation is yourself.
I don’t understand why people are so afraid of homosexuality unless it is because they have not addressed their own sexual orientation and find that thoughts of the same sex indulging in sexual behavior is arousing, and therefore is “bad” and must be suppressed. I do know that my mother always insisted that those who persecuted gays were afraid of their own sexuality and sexual urges, which is why they became so angry and fearful when exposed to gays.
I think she may have been right. I don’t fear them, I don’t find that they make me angry, and I do support same sex marriage. I think it would be great for the economy too. After all, most gays never have children, and have far more disposable income as a result. That means that they will spend a lot more money on things like their weddings, anniversaries, homes, cars, etc. over the years than those of us who devote our lives to raising another generation. Same sex marriages also means fewer children being born–which will mean more economic and educational opportunities for the children that are born into this world. The same sex marriages will also probably pay more taxes over the years, as they will not qualify for the child tax credit, will be able to concentrate more on career advancement, and will probably make more money in their lives to be taxed as well.
Sure, they can adopt. They can use surrogate mothers and sperm donors too. Some of them will have kids, and that’s okay too. They will have jobs, buy houses, build neighborhoods, attend churches, buy goods & services and do all of the other things that other families do. Why should I care if Johnny and Jane have two dads or two moms? Why should I worry about their parents’ sex life at all? Or any of my neighbors for that matter?
As long as they aren’t breaking any of the other laws we have, it doesn’t matter what orientation they have or don’t have. It doesn’t matter and it shouldn’t matter, nor should we even give a second thought to what their sex life is about. I honestly have never gone to a PTA meeting and sat there discussing the other parents’ sex lives or lack thereof. There are some things that I just do not care about. I also don’t worry about co-workers, other church members, the shopkeeper, or any of the other people I may come into contact with in the course of a day. In fact, making me visualize such a thing about any of those people is probably going to leave me with an “ewww” and a mental desire to scour out my brain to get rid of it.
The world will be a much better place when we all quit worrying about whether or not everyone else has a better sex life than we do and we start concentrating on our own issues.
Just get over it. You won’t “catch the gay” even if your neighbors are a same sex couple and they come over for a bbq one weekend. You can drink after them without it happening too. You are more likely to catch hepatitis or drug resistant tuberculosis, and neither of those diseases care what sexual orientation you have. Their marriage won’t make you get a divorce, and your husband isn’t going to run off into the sunset with a gay guy because of it either. (If he was going to do it, he’ll do it even if you have nobody that is a homosexual in your neighborhood.) Your wife isn’t going to start lusting after the pastor’s wife either. You are safe, honest.
You are seriously not that stupid, are you?