Almost there…

18 Apr

Today is the last day of the year for me.

No, it’s not some new calendar that I’m advocating.  It’s my own personal calendar.  Tomorrow is my birthday, which makes today the last day that I am this age.  I’ll never be this age again.

While it’s easy to beat yourself up as you critically examine your past year, sometimes, it’s a good thing to look back on what exactly you did accomplish that was good.  So, here are my highlights for the year, the things that made me feel the best about accomplishing.

  1. I published my first novel.  This may seem silly, it isn’t like I’ve hit anybody’s best seller list, but…for me it IS a big deal.  I’m proud of that accomplishment, I’m proud that I conquered the fear that releasing it into the public was accompanied by.  (If you want to take a look at it and maybe even buy it…go to http://bit.ly/timeofchaos)
  2. I have been able to promote my “fan” page as an author and radio personality.  This too may seem like such a little thing, but self promotion is something that comes very, very hard to me.  I guess it goes all the way back to when I was a little girl and told “nice young ladies do not brag”.  I’m not really bragging, and I’m far from what I’d call “nice”, but any form of self-promotion is a big bite to chew for me.  I have been promoting it like crazy this week, with a goal of 100 “likes” on Facebook by tomorrow.  I’m a long ways from achieving it, so…if you want to help me out, go to the page right here and then click “like” at the top of the page.
  3. Greg and I bought a house.  A very small, very old, and very cheap house that very much needs a lot of work and updating, but it is ours anyhow!  We love it, we’re happy here, and while our lives aren’t fairy-tale perfect, that’s okay too.
  4. I’m learning how to ask for help.  It’s not easy, and the lesson has been agonizing, but I’m learning to let go of my own arrogance and accept help gracefully (or sort of gracefully anyhow)  We have been confronted with physical and financial issues that have left us spinning and unable to cope.
  5. I’ve learned about the friends and family that I can count on when our entire world seems to be situated on shifting sands.  I hope I never, ever take them for granted.
  6. I’ve learned to be very thankful for my small slice of serenity and contentment.  It’s not always easy, but that’s okay too.  It’s part of my lesson.
  7. I’m learning to let go.  That too may sound silly and small, but I want to hold all that I remember and love close to me…forever.  Sometimes, by letting go, we see something even more glorious and amazing.  By hanging on, we are faced with chaos and clutter armed only with a memory.

That’s the good stuff, I suppose.  The highlights anyhow are listed.  I’m thankful for a lot of stuff, and probably the memories that stand out the clearest are just two.

  • Greg telling me he loved me after his heart attack and angioplasty to put in stents.
  • Our granddaughter’s face when she sees us arrive.  She lights up the universe with her smile.

So, like my Facebook author’s page, then go home and tell someone you love how much they mean to you.  You never know, you might hit that short list of highlights of the year with such a simple act, because after all, all we have at the end is the love.  The rest…doesn’t matter one bit.

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