My Ladies of Fate

7 Feb

I have a toothache.  It’s a bad one too.  That means that I can add one more thing to my list of things that are causing me pain, and it’s not a list I wanted to expand, for obvious reasons.  But…as I cope with that additional pain, I have a few tools in my arsenal of weapons.

One of them is my imagination.  I’ll admit, it is a wild one.  As a child, it got me in trouble on more than one occasion.  As an adult, it has provided me with immense entertainment on numerous occasions.  Now, as I deal with the throb in my jaw and wait for my dentist appointment to finally arrive…I once again have my imagination and the mental imagery to entertain me.

When life delivers things that I’m not thrilled with, the image that comes to mind for me is my “Ladies of Fate.”  Now I realize that according to Greek mythology, there are only three of these characters, but that’s okay.  This is “Gia Mythology” and I have twelve of them.  Just don’t ask me to explain why I decided that there are twelve, other than traditionally, there are twelve jurors, and my Ladies of Fate hang out in a juror’s box.

Now the juror’s box is a really nice wooden one, rather like the one in the old Ironsides program.  It’s really pretty oak.  The ladies also have nice antique oak chairs.  The ladies themselves are a lot less uniform.

Remember Pippi Longstocking?  She grew up, got old, and joined the Ladies of Fate.  Either that, or she became their clothing designer.

Then, the Purple Hat Society…the Ladies of Fate looked down on them, smiled and said, “This is good!  Let’s get some clothes like that too!”

Yeah, striped knee high socks, big purple “church lady” shoes with shiny Pilgrim buckles…red lipstick in wide swaths, bright colored eye shadow in green or blue, gaudy jewelry that would embarrass the most brazen of teenagers, and they get crazier from there.  Punk rockers have nothing on these ladies’ hair color, as they run from blue to purple and even one with hot pink hair under her bright purple hat.

They add new accessories to their outfits on bad days, and as anyone who has ever endured a toothache knows…today is far from a good day.

One of the ladies got some high heeled granny boots in bright purple with red laces today, along with a pair of knee high socks in purple and red stripes.

I wonder why outrageous clothes make these ladies much better in my eyes?

But, their outfits aside, these ladies have a very twisted sense of humor as they sit in their jury box in the clouds above.  They look down on me, cackle with insane laughter that would do Shakespeare proud, and toss down a lightning bolt now and again.  These lightning bolts are the “speed bumps” that I get to endure, of varying degrees of difficulty, as I go through life.  Lately, these lightning bolts have delivered pain in ample doses, for whatever reason.

Their bolts are not delivered because I have done anything to “deserve” their attention.  My Ladies of Fate have no regard for morality, they just are playing, with no rhyme or reason.   They don’t care about how I feel about their delivery, they are only interested in what I do afterwards, which is their source of amusement.

Maybe that’s kind of perverse, to think of my misery as some other entities’ amusement, but it makes more sense to me than to think that I had done something to deserve a toothache…besides not seeing the dentist sooner.  It’s not always pain that they deliver though, sometimes it can be other kinds of adversity, anything from an unexpected bill to a flat tire.

Does it really change how I deal with adversity? No, it just helps me maintain a sense of humor when it is really hard to do so.  We all deal with adversity as we go through this life, and the concept of being a spiritual being living a physical life can be hard to hang onto when your jaw is throbbing and your body is wracked with pain, only to be confronted with a flat tire as you go to the pharmacy to get the medication that will offer you some temporary respite from the onslaught.  That idea of being a spiritual being is also hard to hang onto as you try to juggle bills so you can afford the basics of life, only to receive another one in the mail that was not expected.

For me, humor is the grease that gets me over those “speed bumps of life.”  Without it, life could quickly become an agony and misery.  With it, we can still smile, enjoy beauty (at least part of the time!) and continue on our journey.  Life isn’t always easy, and some of us face more adversity than others, but that doesn’t mean it is because we are bad people who deserve it.  It’s just those Ladies of Fate sending a lightning bolt towards us, having found that we are an amusing person who can manage the latest problem.

When it does get to me, they are also the ones I can “blame.”  I can vent my fury at my adversities.  I have been known to stone poor innocent bushes as I rage at the Ladies of Fate, calling them everything but a nice old lady.  I have been known to take a stick and beat a tree trunk as I raged at them, telling them that I wish it was them in place of the tree trunk.  Both the tree and the bush survived my onslaught, but the anger had been allowed to escape harmlessly, letting me resume my life and deal with the problems those Ladies of Fate felt a need to deliver to me.

In one way, I love those Ladies.  In another, I despise them, for my pain and misery and struggles are their source of amusement.  I realize that they have no empathy for me, or anyone else.  I can only hope that when they deliver their lightning bolts to me, some other poor soul, one less able to manage it, was spared.


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