Jane Fonda, sex and seniority

21 Aug

It seems that Jane Fonda has admitted to using testosterone to boost her libido and recommends it as another way to keep sexually active after age 70.

Okay.

Did we really need to know that?

It seems that a person’s sex drive lessons with age, which is somewhat logical since our sex drive was determined by biology as a way of ensuring the continuation of the species.  We aren’t likely to procreate as seniors anyhow, at least not without the aid of medical science.  Well, men are more likely than women, but with that said…

Americans have had fixations on sex since the days of the Puritans.  It’s bad, it’s good, it’s evil, it’s natural, we’ve seen the waves of public opinion sweep across the nation over time.  These days, it’s usually connected to the sanctity of marriage and the same sex marriage controversy, along with “public decency” and other morality based laws regarding sexual aid shops, adult book stores, etc.  Some states still actively frown on the sale of “sexual aids”.  Obviously, Puritanical and Fundamentalist values still permeate our society.  All in all, I think we’d be much better off if we spent a whole lot less time worrying about what other people are doing in regards to their sex life, and paying a lot more attention to our own.  We’d likely see a reduction in divorces as a result.  We might see a reduction in tabloid sales though too.

What is our fascination as a culture with what other people are doing in regards to their sex life?

It’s bizarre to me.  I have never spent a minute worrying about who my neighbors are doing what with, at least in regards to sex.  I’m probably more likely to be concerned about behavior that could actually affect me, like drunkenness, parties, less-than-honest associates, drug trafficking, etc.  As long as they aren’t having sexual interaction on the front lawn in broad daylight, (yes, I have observed people indulging in sexual behavior in public areas in broad daylight, and it wasn’t even a “bad neighborhood”) I don’t care what they are or aren’t doing.

The only time someone’s sexual behavior is of any concern to me is if it involves my partner or immediate family–outside of that, I don’t give a rat’s patooty about who’s doing what with who.

Infidelity, something that has affected many of us, usually revolves around sexual contact with someone outside of the relationship.  Even there, I only care if it is affecting me or a member of my immediate family, and then, I think the real issue is the betrayal and the lies.  From my own experience, (my first marriage had this issue) the lies and betrayal were what caused me emotional distress and ultimately, incredible anger.  Even then, the sex was of less concern (barring the STD part of the issue) than the betrayal.  I felt as though the entire relationship was a huge lie, from beginning to end, and that was what was so hurtful.

Now, as I am preparing to get married for the second time, I’m much more concerned about that relationship over time than I am over past injustices, betrayals, and lies.  Part of that relationship IS sexual too.  I’m pre-menopausal, and often, menopause affects the sex drive.  I have to admit, I do wonder exactly which menopausal issues I’ll have to contend with.  At the same time, I suspect that most senior sex issues are more closely related to one’s self perception, emotional state, physical health and the overall health of the relationship than whether or not you have read Jane Fonda’s book about sex over seventy, taken testosterone, or used some other drug to enhance your libido.  Face it, getting “in the mood” isn’t going to be easy if you are battling pain, discomfort, or worry about your heart, blood pressure, etc.  In addition, many drugs have a side effect of reduced libido.

Focusing on your own relationship, your own sex drive, and your own well-being is probably a much more beneficial method of addressing sex as a senior than worrying about Jane Fonda and her advice.  I didn’t find her an admirable figure as a teenager, and I don’t find her one as a middle aged grandmother either.  I’d much rather talk to my partner and my doctor than follow her advice.  I’d probably get more benefit from achieving my own state of spiritual connection with the universe than I would from spending time with her advice.

Okay, so she’s a rich woman who still features prominently in the news.  She has had numerous plastic surgeries and probably spends more per month on makeup to enhance her surgically enhanced figure and face than I spend owning a motor vehicle for a year.  I’m an overweight, gimpy, gray grandma who has laugh lines.  As far as I’m concerned, it beats the hell out of having prunish wrinkles  and gunk on my face.  I also get a lot more out of the time she wastes with her makeup and hair than she ever will, because I’m DOING something…even if its just bitching in a blog.  I’m a lot more worried about keeping my cognitive abilities active and agile than I am about attracting men anyhow.

The only one I care about attracting is Greg and that’s the way it should be!

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: