Standing on the brink

12 Jun

Sometimes, we all have…precognitive moments, I suppose is the way to put it.  Moments when we know…we are on the brink…of something.

It’s great when we recognize it, instead of rushing headlong and falling over the edge into the Vast Unknown.  Sometimes we are paying attention and aware, but sometimes…we aren’t.

I’m standing on the brink now.  Great Change is calling to me, but I haven’t figured out exactly what it’s saying.  Maybe its a language barrier, maybe its a hearing issue, and maybe its the wind snatching away the words so that I can’t quite make them out.

I don’t know what is changing, why it is changing, or where its all leading yet.

I’m at that point in my life where I’m beginning to perfect the art of the question, but not even beginning to understand the art of the answer.

Yeah.

Yea though I walk through the valley of death, I shall fear no evil.  Or something like that.  My biblical days are long ago now.  I’m at the half century mark, more than likely more than halfway through my life time.  So what does it mean?

What has my life really been about?  Have I accomplished what I came here to do?  Have I learned the lessons I needed to learn?  Am I ready to “graduate” or do I have to get more remedial studying done before this round is over?  Am I the best person I can be?  Am I truly spiritual or am I confined to the physical realm?

I question, I question myself, I question the world around me, and I turn my eyes skyward and question that too.

I wonder, if pain will help me transcend the physical or does it bind me to the physical realm in a way?  Is it helping me become spiritual or is it merely one more item on a list of distractions preventing me from focusing on the spiritual?

I watch others with their rituals of faith, and a part of me envies them.  I wish that I could focus on the rituals and be happy with that as a symbol of my spirituality, but for me…that’s impossible.  The rituals are nothing more than smoke and mirrors for me, an exercise in futility.  That’s not to say that I don’t ever indulge in any–I do.  I have a few rituals that I use for the purpose of focusing my mind, but they are rarely used and intensely private matters.

We are changing.  As a society.  As a species.  Big changes are right there, just over the brink.  It’s time to get ready, but I don’t know what to wear.

Do you?

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