Shall I just kill him now or shall I wait?

13 Nov

Today, among the million other things, I was working on a  gift project for my daughter & her new baby.  I needed photos for it, and lots of them.  I used all of mine, and then swiped my daughter’s pictures from her Facebook account.  Then, it happened.

They were rejected as lacking proper resolution to be printed.

Okay, I thought.  No problem, I thought.  I’ll just call her and have her email them to me instead, then they’ll have the original resolution.

So I happily dial the phone, thinking up a properly nebulous answer for her inquiry as to WHY I needed higher resolution ones.

I fielded that obstacle just fine, and then came the bomb.

Daddy had changed the resolution in the camera to the lowest possible resolution.

No, there is no explanation as to WHY such a thing was done.  The resolution is so low that they are unprintable except as wallet sized photos.  Why would anyone do such a thing?  I have a camera exactly like hers…I KNOW that several HUNDRED photos will fit on a 1 gb SD card.  I KNOW they know how to delete photos that don’t come out.  So what possessed him to do something so aggravating?

I don’t know when he did it, but I know that drawing and quartering him is now the plan.

There is only one problem.  GM won’t take me to do the deed, and they live a good hour away.  If I march there on foot, I’ll be too tired to draw and quarter him.  So that means I must wait.

And plot.

What horrible punishments can I devise for the man that has taken LOW RESOLUTION PHOTOS of my one and only granddaughter?????

Doesn’t he value her beautiful and angelic face enough to use HIGH RESOLUTION for her photos?

What kind of a father is he going to be if he’s already switching to low resolution photos and she’s not even been home  a week yet?  I can see him now, denying us high resolutions of other mile markers in her life, forcing us to peer at blurry low resolution pictures of her first day at school, her first lost tooth, her first pony, her first driver’s license, her first speeding ticket, her graduation…even her wedding!

I think we need to get Congress involved in this.  All grandparents deserve high resolution photos at all times!  After all, in this digital age, there is no longer any reason to force us to peer at low resolution tiny photographs in someone’s wallet or purse.  Let us all enjoy photos that we can blow up and use a large screen television so we can share our special grandchild with all visitors to our home!  It is our God given right to bore everyone to absolute tears and document every minute change in our grand child’s life, it says so in the Bible too!  (I’m sure I can find SOMETHING usable to support my argument there!)

How am I going to cope with a man who dares resort to low resolution photographs before his daughter is even a month old?????

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