My life is crazy. Nothing goes according to plans, and even when we do have plans, someone will come along and toss in a monkey wrench or put things on fast forward.
We don’t have drama, and that’s a good thing. It seems everyone around us is trying for their own personal Oscar award with all their drama-enhanced (?) lives.
GM & I don’t have ugly arguments with yelling. That’s a good thing too. Everyone else in the world seems to be screeching enough to take care of our share of noise pollution too. Our disagreements are kind of like fizzled firecrackers. It looks like it might explode, but then it sort of just sizzles and smokes for a minute or two, then poof…the fire is all gone.
We really do like a peaceful, quiet life. Our cats squabble, our dogs squabble, that way, we don’t have to. We share goals, we discuss issues and current events, we try to not get excessively involved in the lives of our family and friends. Peace and tranquility is our goal.
So, what we don’t have in our day to day life, apparently my subconscious feels a need to introduce via my dream state. I’m in a phase of severe insomnia now, but when I do sleep and dream, it is intense. Dreaming in technicolor with special effects that Hollywood can only dream of too.
The other night, I started the dreaming with a nightmare about someone coming into the house and attacking me. I somehow fended off the first attacker that came in while I was sleeping (that makes sense, since I really was asleep!) but it was very important for me to lock the door to prevent a second attacker from coming in. I remembered getting up to lock the door to keep them out, but when I actually woke up several hours later and got up, I was dismayed to discover the door was unlocked.
Round two of the dreams followed, and that was much more entertaining. I was leaning in a wide window with a sturdy ledge that looked into a chicken coop. I was standing on a bench outside the window, so the window was about waist high. The “shutter” for this window was propped up with a stick and would flop down to be secured in foul weather to protect the fowl.
Inside, the floor was covered with pretty golden colored straw, and there was a dozen or so chickens inside, all of them looking up at me. I had really smart chickens (that’s unusual, just ask anyone who has kept the cannibalistic beasts!) and I was going to give them their singing lesson. They were pretty good at singing too, doing the chickenish baaaakkk baaak baaaakkk baaaak in tune (they couldn’t really say words, they WERE chickens after all!) I was singing to them, and they would cluck along in tune to the song. I actually woke up because I was singing so loudly.
It was such a vivid dream, so very intense, and the chickens really sang pretty well. I also considered having singing chickens to be an important thing. Do I know why my subconscious dredged up such a thing? Not a clue where it would possibly come from.
These weren’t cartoonish chickens, they were barred rocks and rhode island reds and polish and buff colored cochins. Very real chickens in a very realistic, if very spotless, scene. They weren’t talking chickens, they were merely smart chickens that could mimic pitch quite accurately and accompany me as I sang. I’m not a fantastic singer either. I sing, but not well, and not for audiences. It’s something I do when I’m doing housework or in the shower…not something I do loudly and often with an audience.
I have had other vivid dreams lately, the worst one was about both my fiance and my mother’s deaths. I obviously wasn’t really thrilled with that one, nor was it cutely weird like the singing chickens. Was it precognitive? No, I don’t think so. I think it was merely an expression of subconscious fears. They are two people in my life that are very important to me.
The other dreams have been more of a typical nature–things like dreaming about my granddaughter in a few years, and doing some things with me. Dreams about gardens and fluffy bunnies, the light stuff that is soothing to the psyche. Nothing traumatic or earth shaking in its potential meaning, just warm fuzzy stuff.
So are the vivid dreams and the insomnia related? Possibly. Nightmares make a person a bit anxious about going to sleep for fear of the things that they can dream about. The anxiety surely isn’t conducive to going to sleep and staying asleep, and waking up after sleeping for a short time may be my subconscious trying to spare me the need to dream.
So, with that said, tonight’s plan is to use a low dosage non-narcotic sleeping aid to ensure that I actually go to sleep and then stay asleep. Hopefully, it won’t leave me feeling draggy and “hung over” tomorrow, which is the reason for my strong aversion to resorting to using a pill to encourage sleep. However, considering RedDog’s level of exhaustion (she is passed out on the floor beside me) and Greg’s anxiety about my insomnia…they need me to take the pill tonight.
Funny how that works sometimes, isn’t it?