Voortman oatmeal cookies and a first birthday rack?

11 Sep

Have you ever noticed that recipes that are supposed to be good for you taste absolutely horrible?  You know what I’m talking about.  Like the healthy bakery item where you are pretty sure the box you took it out of had more texture and flavor than the item you just attempted to consume ever did.

It’s only reasonable to assume that healthy food tastes bad, therefore unhealthy food should taste really good. 

And today, I really wanted an oatmeal raisin cookie, fragrant with cinnamon and full of rich oatmeal-y and raisin-y flavor.  So…I bought a package of Voortman Oatmeal Raisin cookies. 

Okay, I don’t need cookies.  I need to lose weight and cookies aren’t part of that game plan.  That doesn’t mean that Voortman corporate offices are supposed to be in cahoots with encouraging me to lose weight. 

Those cookies are AWFUL.

Yeah, I’d say eat the package instead, but its that plastic-foil hybrid stuff, no cardboard to eat. 

The cookies have a soggy texture, that familiar texture on the Gulf Coast that screams “stale.” 

Next, the cookies have a weird off flavor that says “burnt”.

Raisins…in these cookies?  Only by weight are there raisins.  They weren’t on speaking terms with the cookie that I had.  There were so few raisins, I let RedDog and Sissy finish the cookie.  (Raisins are toxic to dogs.)  Red thought the cookie was wonderful, but Red also licks her own butt and roots in trash when she has a chance, so her taste test is not regarded as relevent!

I really got concerned when I realized thatI bought these cookies after their unknown journey until they landed on the local Walmart shelf.  They were going to “remain fresh” until January of 2011?  How long were these things in the warehouse?  I remember buying stuff off of the “day old” rack at the bakery as a kid…what is it now?  The first birthday rack?

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2 Responses to “Voortman oatmeal cookies and a first birthday rack?”

  1. Kevin April 7, 2012 at 2:41 pm #

    Those cookies are supposedly not healthy to begin with…

    • giascott April 7, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

      I’d have to agree with you.

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