What can you say?

Today is my brother’s birthday.  Unfortunately, it’s also the anniversary of my father’s death, which really probably puts a damper on my brother’s celebrations.  It also happens to be a milestone birthday this year for him.

He’s reached the big Five Oh, as they say.  I remember when thirty was practically retirement age, at least in my opinion.  Forty was really ancient, and fifty, well…you were just occupying space until you died.  After all, what could you do when you were half a century old?

Little did I know then, right?

You can do a lot after fifty.  Most of the nation’s population is now at that age, and we’re doing a lot of stuff.  We hike, bike, backpack, tour, write, read, make movies, do business, create, innovate, and a lot of other things.  I’m now suspicious of those without a few gray hairs, because after all, what can someone without a bit of experience under their belt possibly have to offer me?

What can you say?

It seems I suffer from prejudices.  Pretty arrogant of me to not want to admit it too, actually.  It takes a two year old, or rather an almost-two-year old, to remind me of the things that youth has to teach us.

Like in the purely sensual pleasure of taking a mini cupcake frosted with luridly colored “buttercream” (it actually contains no butter and way too many chemicals to possibly pronounce) and licking it with a rapidly flicking tongue as though you were a lizard is pure delight.  You don’t notice the greasy texture of the frosting, but your tongue will positively spasm with delight at the sweetness.  It takes a good fifteen minutes to enjoy that tiny bit of frosting that way, compared to the two bite “adult” way of eating a mini cupcake.  Then, you still have the cake to enjoy too.

You don’t have to worry about what to say then either.  She isn’t into verbalization much, it’s all about sound, facial expression, and tactile expression.  Jabber a bit, laugh a lot, smile more, and give hugs and kisses with total spontaneity, and hey…life is good.

What can you say about that?

Grief.  There are no words to ease that pain.  I know that, I’ve been there.  I’ve mourned a lot of people, from childhood friends to my son, to my father and all of my grandparents and great grandparents.  Aunts and uncles, cousins, co-workers, acquaintances…I’ve lost them too.  It hurts, and it’s different each time.  With the intensity of the grief, people are under the misconception that it gets better over time.

Hogwash, total hogwash.

About all I can say about it is that you get used to it.  It’s like a scar, it’s always there, you never forget it is there, and it never goes away.  You just get used to looking in the mirror and seeing it.  When my son died, it felt as though I had this massive hole through the very center of my being, and part of me was shocked that the sun still shone, the birds still sang, and I still breathed.  How could that be, when my world had ceased to be?

Now, it’s been over ten years.  Longer than I got to have him, I have grieved for him.  I still feel tears well up sometimes when I think about it, and we still talk about him, as well as talk about “That Day.”  I still will cry, and I still remember him, every day, not just on the anniversary of his death or his birthday.  I still miss him.  We still laugh about some of the things he did, as well as some of his idiosyncrasies, and that’s good too.

I grieve for my father too.  Not in the same way, for we know from childhood that our parents are probably going to die before we do and that we’ll have to grieve for them then.  Part of my grief with my father is over our rocky relationship, which we had managed to repair in the last years of his life.  I grieve for the fact that there were so many missed opportunities, so much more that the relationship could have been, if only things had been different.

Grief comes with guilt too.  You second guess yourself, you wonder what you could have done different over time, if you could have changed some of the worst parts of the relationship in some positive manner if you had been that perfect person we all strive to be.  That’s normal too.

But it’s also normal to be normal and not that perfect person.  I think the perfect person, the one that I hold as a mental image of who I’d like to be, would scare me half to death.  Who could be that calm, that rational, that loving and considerate, and not have angel wings and a halo?  Most of us don’t interact daily with angels, and if I suddenly became one…well, I’m not sure anyone would see me or even admit that they had seen me.

Come on, what would you say if you saw an “angel” walking down the street or shopping in the local store?  What could you say that didn’t have your family wanting to lock you up?

That doesn’t mean we should quit striving for the impossible goal of becoming that perfect person we’re striving towards though.  I may not be an angel, but sometimes, you don’t have to be perfect, don’t have to have a halo, and you don’t need angel wings to make a difference to someone else.  Angels come in many forms, you know.   Sometimes, they are a middle aged woman bringing groceries to a single mother who is struggling to feed her children.  It might be coats for someone who can’t afford to buy coats that actually fit their kids.  It might be stopping to help someone change a tire on a summer Sunday morning, getting dirty and making yourself late for church in the process.  It might be helping a neighbor move in or out.  It might be giving some bread to a man standing on a corner begging, or to a young homeless couple that is probably addicted to drugs.  It might be helping an old woman get her groceries from her car to her door.  It might be hiring a guy who has been looking for a job so long that he has nearly given up daring to hope that his application will ever get any attention.

All it takes is to care actually.  To do more than merely go through the motions.  Sometimes it means not only doing the letter of our “job” in the course of the day, but actually putting real effort into it, going an extra inch or two to help someone.  Other times, it cuts into our “play” time, or means giving up something that we’d rather be doing in order to make someone else’s journey a little bit easier.  Other times, it may be as simple as reaching into the groceries that you just bought, and taking out the bread you don’t really need…and handing it to someone outside the store that does need it.  Another day, it might mean that you simply do your best to solve your own problems.

Sometimes, it is also a case of minding your own business instead.  That is especially the case with gossip.  Too often, gossip is mostly fiction, but presented in a manner that makes it sound perfectly plausible.  It may seem innocent, but the problem is…it can seriously damage someone’s life and cause them a great deal of problems, all for something they never did or said.  It can lead to real financial hardship on occasion as well.  I know in my own case, I was once upon a time merely amused about gossip about me, never realizing the damage it was doing and would continue to do even years later.  (Gossip had my life far more interesting than reality ever was!)  Ultimately, it almost cost me my job, and had repercussions that pursued me for over a decade, and the truth is…none of it was even based on truth.  I was judged guilty, plus never had the “fun” of committing the acts!

What can you say?  Your mother was right.  If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.  If you don’t know that it is true, don’t repeat it.  In addition, sometimes, things aren’t exactly what they appear to be.  Be kind.  Be considerate.  Try walking in the other person’s shoes.

If all else fails, along with words, there is always the option of opting for non-verbal communication too.  And no, I don’t mean giving someone “the finger”, but rather a smile.  Don’t wait for Washington to bring us change, be the change yourself and be the change.

It takes something, someone, some act to be the catalyst for change.  It can be you.

GMOs, food allergies, gluten intolerance, health and people

I have been thinking a lot lately.  Some may claim this is a dangerous activity.  Maybe it is, but it certainly allows dots to be connected in new and innovative ways.  Maybe some of the topics of my mind have been on the mark, and maybe they haven’t been.  It’s certainly ideas to give further consideration.

First, let’s turn back the hands of the clock to another era, one that was quite some time ago, when the group of people we know today as the Amish were a new “cult.”

Many of these people emigrated to the United States, where they took up new lives and established communities and farms.  Initially, they didn’t appear much different than their neighbors.  Almost everyone in a rural community was a farmer, so their farms were the norm of the era.

Their clothing wasn’t much different either.  Everyone dressed fairly similar to the way the Amish dressed.  The men’s beards weren’t notably different either, nor was the hair styles worn by the women.  Everyone used horses and buggies.  No one had telephones or electricity.  Everyone ate fairly similar foods.  Children usually only went to school through the eighth grade, if they went to school at all, in a one room schoolhouse which they walked to.  Probably the sole difference was in the services themselves, for the Quakers also usually held their services in members’ homes.

The differences between the Amish only began to appear as industrialization began.  With each step forward in terms of technology, the Amish evaluated it in terms of their belief system and decided whether or not to accept it as being a reasonable addition to their lives.  They slowed the process of change in their society, which made their differences begin to become more noticeable.  Now, nearly a hundred years after electricity became commonly available, the differences are easily seen between the Amish society and mainstream society.

That’s not to say that the Amish haven’t paid a high price for their choice to remain separate from mainstream America.  It’s meant that their gene pool is much more condensed, as marriages to outsiders have become increasingly rare.  That’s allowed certain genetic diseases to appear with a higher than normal frequency.  That has also allowed medical science a chance to approach these almost unknown diseases with more confidence about treatment, better testing, and long term prognosis.  While it’s difficult for those that have inherited this surprise genetic package, it’s also meant that society as a whole has also benefited from their long term choices to remain apart.

If we continue to look back to the era in which the Amish originated, we also will find that medical science didn’t have much to offer anyone.  It was pretty ignorant of a number of things, ranging from sanitation to genetics.  While it doesn’t have all of the answers and often doesn’t like some of the modern questions about our health, we also couldn’t accurately diagnose some things, such as diabetes, cancer, food allergies, etc.

Even so, it seems that the average person was far healthier and more robust than the average person today.  Gluten intolerance, something that seems to be hitting our population in epidemic proportions, along with obesity and diabetes, were all unheard of conditions.  Food allergies in general were fairly rare, and were most likely to occur if someone ate an “exotic” food that was different from the foods they normally consumed.  These same statements are largely true if we even look back to just fifty or a hundred years ago.

So what do I think this means?

Maybe the problem is not so much that people are changing, but it is because of the diet we have today.  It’s filled with processed foods, fast foods, artificially flavored/colored/sweetened products, and foods from around the world.  We can eat fresh strawberries at Christmas, and fresh oranges in July.  Our bread, nothing like anything that would have been on the average dinner table a hundred years ago, is soft, sweet, and whiter than our bed sheets.

In the meantime, we suffer from digestive issues, allergies, lack of energy, diabetes, and obesity, all while on our special low calorie diet.  We get progressively sicker rather than regaining our health.

Look at the diet of a hundred years ago in comparison.  There was a lot more food on the dinner table, but it was a lot simpler too.  Meals were usually produced from locally available foods in season.  They featured a lot of complex carbohydrates, animal fats, and home cured meats.

All that cholesterol, and yet if a person managed to survive through childhood, they were likely to live as long or longer than the average person does today.  My own family tree features many people, even in the 1700s, that lived well past their 80s.  Census records often list them as “farm laborer” or “house servant” even after age 60.  (I don’t descend from anyone famous, for the record.  Everyone was pretty much an ‘average joe’ even though many of my ancestors emigrated to America prior to the Revolutionary War.)  Most families would have regarded things such as pure salt, sugar, and white flour as “luxury” items.  Corn, beans, potatoes, and other garden produce would have been on the table in many forms most meals, along with things such as butter, eggs, milk, and cured meats.

Doctors would have also been a rarity, which may have helped ensure long lifespans, since many of the medicines and treatments commonly used were of dubious nature.  Most injuries, diseases and illnesses would have been treated at home, using either patent medicines (which had to be bought with money) or herbs that were raised in the garden for that purpose.  Childbirth would have occurred at home, with the assistance of a family member or a local midwife.  Dentistry, when it was necessary, was also a do-it-yourself project or one that may have even been conducted by the local barber!  Actual dentists, as we know them today, weren’t common until the late 1800s or later, depending on the area.

Unless you lived by a port on a river or the ocean, truly exotic foods such as pineapples and bananas, would have been unheard of.  Exotic spices, such as cinnamon, vanilla, allspice, nutmeg and black pepper, would have been expensive items bought from a local merchant or a peddler.  Even white flour would have been out-of-the-ordinary, although many families would use unbleached or a semi-white flour for baking.

There was no such thing as vegetable oil, unless it was olive oil, which had to be imported to the USA until fairly recently.  There was no high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, GMOs, etc. either.  Even soy products such as tofu or TVP didn’t exist.  Few farmers even raised soybeans yet, as it wasn’t a crop with much of a market or use at home either.

This isn’t to say they had boring meals without any sweets.  There was candy, pies, cakes, cookies, muffins, etc. and they were commonly made at home.  The difference was that they were sweetened with molasses, honey, maple syrup or sugar, cane syrup or a coarse, tan cane sugar that was more commonly available in the local store.  (Probably more similar to what we call turbinado sugar today.)  Foods were seasoned with herbs from the garden too.

Foods were also preserved by drying, curing, pickling or preserving with sugar.  Home canning, in glass jars, became commonplace in the early 1900s, with home freezing moving in during the 1950s.  Even in the 1960s, many small towns still had a butcher shop with a walk in freezer where a family’s meat (from cattle or pigs they paid to have butchered) were stored in the “locker”.  Wrapped in white butcher paper, with a stamped label, this storage was part of the price paid for the meat’s butchering and packaging.

The meat, eggs, and dairy products consumed were typically fed local grasses and grains.  All chickens were “free range” in a way that few chickens know today, coming to the coop to roost from protection from predators.  Hogs and cattle were typically pasture raised as well, and hogs were often allowed to roam the woods of the area for the entire year, fending for themselves, and being rounded up and killed in the fall when it was easier to hang, butcher, and cure the meat in the cooler temperatures.

For city folk, life was a little bit different.  While some city families had a milk cow, many bought their milk from the “milk man” who delivered daily.  This dairy was still nearby, as transportation was not fast enough to encourage distant dairies.  Vegetables and fruits sold in the local markets were also likely to be produced in the  area.  Butcher shops supplied families with fresh and cured meats, which typically had also been raised nearby.  Most families had a “kitchen garden” where much, if not all, of their produce and herbs were raised.

Nobody ate fresh foods out of season unless they had someone with a very green thumb and could afford a fancy (and expensive) greenhouse to raise it in.  This was true of everyone, regardless of their economic and social status.

We can’t say the same things today.  Today, we have no clue where our food originated from usually.

That may not be a good thing, but I’m also not the only one who is questioning that concept.  First, there is what is called “Slow Food.”  There is also another concept called permaculture.  (Permaculture Institute is here, and my audio interview with its founder is here.)  There are also countless organizations promoting heirloom food crops, organic farming, and back-to-nature living.

What I am questioning now is whether or not these choices are choices made because of dietary desires, lifestyle goals, or a belief system.

Maybe we need  The New Church of Wholistic Living (as far as I know, this does not actually exist), encompassing community, society, diet, lifestyle, ideology, and belief system into a comprehensive system that essentially turns their members into something not unlike the “Amish of the New Millenia.”  It’s not that people who are practicing this type of life are separating themselves entirely from technology, but that they are questioning society’s current lack of values regarding many things, with the most visible point being the food we consume.  Other commonly questioned items in this arena are things such as excessive use of motor vehicles, television, and modern mainstream medicine.

What do you think about all of this?  Have I lost my mind?  Am I becoming excessively suspicious of the offerings from the giant corporations and big box stores?

Doing good, karmic bank balances, gossip, libel, and reality checks

Good deeds.  This is the time of year when we’re all expected to have done something good.  For all too many people, it’s a once-a-year thing.  Are you one of them?

Pat yourself on the back if you are, because you are among a too-large majority it seems.  Without photo ops and court assigned public service, many organizations wouldn’t have the volunteers they have.  But what does it really do for you or the world to save it all for an annual good deed or a photo op?

Then there’s the gossip, rumors and downright libel/slander on the flip side of the do-good issue.  Nasty remarks and gossip often are fueled by envy and jealousy, and can do a surprising amount of damage without the victim even being aware of it happening until it’s too late.  Then, there is the anger and desire for revenge on whoever perpetrated this terrible deed.  With social media, rumors, gossip, and other remarks can spread faster than wildfire.  No one is immune, from rich to poor, famous to unknown, but everyone can feel the sting.  Resisting the urge for revenge or retaliation is sometimes very hard, anyhow.  Falling into that routine can often be a trap that is stickier to extricate yourself from than a tar pit.  When sent with malice, words can be as damaging as bullets.  Sometimes, even casually uttered words can carry that kind of damage in their wake too.

All this positive versus negative action and inaction needs some imagery to make it a little bit more real, a little bit easier to comprehend and put into action.  Since I love imagery, that’s my obvious solution.

To me, it’s all about the Great Karma Bank and my karmic bank balance.  Positive actions create light or white deposits into my account, whereas negative actions create a dark or black debit from that account.  It’s very simple for me, the more white I can accumulate, the better.  Since it’s all happening in MY head, there is no real way to “cheat” either.  The one person that REALLY knows what’s really happened is yourself, so there’s no fooling the self, really.  We may lie and cheat our way through life, but we can’t fool the Great Karmic Bank.  At the same time, the Great Karmic Bank can’t cheat us and take away our deposits without warning.  And yes, you can be “overdrawn” and have a negative balance, if you don’t do what you know you should be doing.

Think about the last month and all of your actions and inactions, good and bad.  Where is YOUR karmic bank balance?

There are also no excuses allowed.  That includes problems such as your job, your relationships, your health, any of your problems, short or long term.  No matter how bad you feel or how much pain you are in, your karmic bank balance is no one’s responsibility other than your own.  No one can make a deposit for you, nor can anyone debit your account for you.  It’s all yours.

In a sense, it’s an unforgiving image.  In another, it’s a totally realistic view of how we need to go through life.  We all have moments when we’re less than the person we want to be, and we all have moments when we are exactly who we want to be.  Spending my days beating myself up for a grumpy remark to my husband for no reason isn’t going to help either of us, nor does a “I’m sorry” do anything to take away the sting of irritable words uttered carelessly.  My unforgiving karmic bank balance allows me to keep a reality check on the person I am versus the person I want to be.

Don’t think this is a holier-than-thou preaching session either.  I’ll assure you–I don’t have a vast amount of white in my account!  I’m far from perfect, and on a bad day, silence is often the best I can do.  I don’t always manage to do my best either.  But every once in a while, I have an opportunity open up to allow me to make that all important deposit into my karmic account.  It’s important to recognize those moments and take advantage of them too.

Those opportunities can be as varied as snowflakes, and sometimes they are just as short lived too.  It can be giving a smile to a child, answering a question, giving money to the homeless guy, donating my time to an environmental group, etc.  It’s more than money though–anybody can write a check, if they have money in their account, and while donating to various organizations and causes is a good thing, you don’t have to even have a heart to write a check.  Some people do it just to see their name listed among the donors, not because they want to help.  Karma, you see, knows the motives behind the actions.  Your bank balance may go up for that donation with desire for publicity, but…not as much as if you had given something of yourself without expecting publicity and appreciation.

Think about your karmic account.  Figure out ways to minimize your “debits” and maximize your “deposits.”  It doesn’t have to be big things–not everyone can go to Africa to care for AIDS stricken children, etc.  For most of us, our deposits aren’t going to be vast and impressive, but more like small and frequent.  That’s okay.  It’s our job, each and every day, to do the best we can with what we have.  My goal is to just have it well into the white on the day I draw my last breath.

 

Santa Claus

Santa Claus…he’s a beloved character.  Even so, many people think that letting him be a part of our Christmas celebration is something that is bad and teaches their children that their parents lie, and that they should not believe in things that they cannot see, like God.

I think it’s all in how Santa Claus is eventually explained and defined, really.  I believe in Santa Claus myself, and I also believe that Santa Claus is a very important part of our Christmas celebration, even if the very young children don’t understand what he is all about.

You see, Santa Claus embodies the perfect Spirit of Giving and Charity.  You wonder how?

Santa Claus gives, in total anonymity, without any expectations of appreciation or reciprocation.  He IS the way we should all give, not only at Christmas, but each and every day of our lives.  Granted, Santa spends all year preparing for his big giveaway, but the rest of us don’t have to do that.

The myth of Santa, with the stories of giving only to good little boys and girls, is a fairy tale.  We all love it, and as children we look forward to his arrival, with great anxiety about whether or not we’ve really been good, or if he knows about that terrible, awful thing we did.  Maybe he’ll forgive us and not hold it against us come Christmas Eve, but then again…what if he doesn’t?

Then too, Santa doesn’t give equally to all children, even within the same neighborhood.  Sometimes, at big family gatherings, he doesn’t give equally to all of the children present either.  This too is explained.  Santa does not want the parents to feel bad about being poor, so he doesn’t give gifts greater than the things that the parents could give, nor does he give gifts that the family can’t afford to keep, such as ponies and kittens and dogs.

Sometimes, Santa gifts arrive differently.  In today’s world, there are millions and millions of children around the world, all of which deserve a gift.  Because of this, sometimes he has to use others to help him deliver the gifts.  They may arrive early, even though he prefers that they arrive on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, and once in a while, they’ll arrive late when things don’t go exactly right.  If for some reason, the family is caught by circumstances or weather away from home, (it does happen sometimes!) then he may just leave the gifts at their home, with a few gifts or a stocking where they are at, or maybe everything is at their home.  He does this to make it a bit easier for families who are traveling, so that they don’t have to carry their gifts home when they return.  Santa also thinks its wonderful when a family gets to have a second Christmas when they return home.  Santa has also been known to use agents such as a local church or charity to deliver gifts to the family, and if they are very poor, he will often include food in their gifts.

Because Santa has so very much work to do all year, many times parents have to help him make sure that there are enough toys and treasures for all of the children of the world too.  That’s why it’s important to help with charities such as Toys for Tots, Salvation Army, and other charities that help Santa make sure that every boy and girl has a Christmas present.

As we get older, sometimes Santa stops bringing gifts each and every year.  That doesn’t mean we’re not still good though.  It just means that he knows we don’t mind if we don’t get a gift, and he can give his attention to someone else who needs it.  Santa has also been known to leave a stocking for someone, all stuffed full of treats and small treasures, and a note about which toy and who that toy was given to, rather than bringing them a present.  I think this is a lovely idea, and I’ve even heard of many people who have sent a letter to Santa asking him to do just that.  Sometimes, boys and girls who have many toys and don’t really need a new toy will also ask Santa to do that.

Santa sometimes asks us to do things for others at Christmas time too, just like he does.  Everyone can do something nice for someone, even children.  It can be something small, like helping an elderly neighbor rake up leaves or shovel snow, or it can be something bigger like helping at a soup kitchen or shelter.  Sometimes, he asks us to donate money too, or to buy a gift and donate it to one of his helpers.

Santa is just that.  When we’re young and don’t have the ability to understand, we worry about what Santa is going to bring us.  When we are older, we begin to understand what Santa Claus really represents.  As adults, we can enjoy Santa, and let him remind us about what giving is really all about.

I believe in Santa Claus!

Musing on humanity and God

Okay, it is late at night.  It’s the perfect time to contemplate many conditions of what we all call humanity.

Like the concepts of religion and spirituality.

For some reason, we associate deliberate misery, deprivation, and the like with an increased awareness, greater consciousness, and spirituality.  I find this curious.  It doesn’t have the same associations when it is caused by circumstances rather than a deliberate choice though.  Then, it’s merely tragedy.

So throughout time, there have been monasteries, convents, spiritual quests, and the like.  All of these were designed to create misery and deprivation, and therefore induce a greater spiritual experience.

What is that anyhow?  Why do we need misery to create spiritual experiences?  Why can’t we experience joy as we commune with our Creator?

Laughter.  Singing.  Joy.  Music.  Conversations.  Enjoyment.

I’m not talking extravagant and decadent lifestyles.  I’m talking modest lifestyles with reasonable comforts and real joy.

Why can I only commune with God when I’m in agony and discomfort?  Seriously…do any of us really enjoy conversations with people who are miserable all the time?  Why would God be different?  Don’t you think God would like to hear from us when we are NOT miserable?  Do we have a God who prefers us, as God’s Children, to be miserable?

I don’t think so.  I don’t believe God is a jealous, mean spirited, vindictive, and angry Creator.  If we are in fact all God’s Children, then God would want us to be happy, fulfilled, and reasonably comfortable.

Happiness isn’t a selfish experience either.  I feel great joy when I’m able to make someone else happier, more comfortable, and achieve greater fulfillment.  I actually enjoy doing things for other people, although like most people, I don’t enjoy being taken for granted or giving to those who are continual takers without ever contributing anything to the “Bank of Life” where we all have an account.

I suppose I’m a bit odd, but in a sense, the way I see the whole “Bank of Life” deal is like this.  When we are born, we come into this world with a mortgage already, held by the Bank of Life.  We start making payments on that mortgage immediately, as the child is often tasked with the job of teaching others many important lessons, ranging from love to patience, with an infinite list in between.  We continue making those payments to the Bank of Life throughout our lives.

We can default on our mortgage, if we so choose.  Refusing to live up to our potential is one way, and refusing to live at all is another, as some people choose to default by suicide.  Others choose to increase their debt by taking out additional “loans”.  What price do these defaulted or increased loans have?

Apparently, it can mean that we are reborn into this world with a larger mortgage, as the debts are carried over.  No one else can make the payments for us, and there is no real way to escape those debts.

Sometimes it’s hard to imagine such a thing as a life debt as we watch young children at play.  There are a lot of things that are hard to understand in life, like why some children are born to a life of struggle and starvation while others fight obesity, or why some children are born only to die at the hands of those who were charged with protecting them.

I can’t explain that.  I hate it though.  Maybe because I lost a child, I agonize more over such things.  I wish I could bring them all home, but the reality is…I can’t afford to do such a thing financially.  There are millions of children who need a meal, a hug, an encouraging word, and even parents to care about them.  Not all of them were born physically whole and hearty, and that too is hard to understand.

I’ve seen children who needed parents, just as many others have.  I’ve seen children who are dying.  I cried over my own son’s body after he died, confused and unable to understand why he was gone or even where he had gone.  I’ve seen elderly people with no one to care about them.

I’ve met nice people, mean people, plain outright nasty people, kind people, and people who just didn’t seem to be at home.  From crazy to mentally handicapped and on over to the brilliant ones, everyone has a story.  Everyone has hopes and dreams and needs and fears.

Parents’ complaints about the younger generation didn’t sound much different in ancient Greece than they do today.  They probably were the same as we moved from hunter/gatherers to farmers to craftsmen to our modern society with a million specialties.  We’re all convinced they lack respect and are “going to hell in a handbasket.”

Then, one day, you realize…you are immensely proud of the person that infant you once cradled in your arms has become over the years.  You still have hopes and dreams for them, but they all boil down to the fact that every parent wants their children to be happy most of all.

Why would God be different, if God is as a parent would be?  Parents love unconditionally.  We may get angry, be disappointed…but few of us would turn our backs on our own child, no matter what terrible thing they have done.  We may be ashamed and horrified, but no matter what, we do still love them and hope that somehow, they will find redemption and happiness.

I think about the torturous things people have done in search of “Godliness” and I can’t help but shake my head.  How can self-mutilation, suicide bombings, self-imposed deprivations, and denial of your own humanity help you become closer to God, no matter what name you give to the Deity/concept?

To find our own humanity and spirituality, we need to devote time and effort to the endeavor, just as we devote time and effort to any skill which we regard as important to achieve mastery in .  Some people will achieve greater mastery than others, but everyone can achieve some level of mastery.  Just like achieving skill in “art” doesn’t mean that everyone does the same thing in crayon, but rather covers everything from photography to computer animation to sculpture to painting to pencils…and a lot of other things too.  The variations are nearly infinite, and so can be our search for who we are and what spirituality really means.

Does it really matter what name and imagery you use to represent the concept of God?

Does God even care whether you use a pair of crossed sticks, a candle, a crude fish drawing…or anything else as an image to remind you of what God is all about?

Does God even care which collection of sounds you use as a representation and designation?  Does it matter if you say God, Creator, the One, Allah, Jehovah, Yahweh, or Ibbididy-Dibbidy-Do?  As long as you know what it means, does it even matter at all?

I doubt it.

Just like aliens and UFOs.  Some people seem to think that if aliens exist, it threatens their God concept.  I have to shake my head at that, because I figure that if the Creator could manage things like the wildebeest, musk-ox, and platypus…surely aliens weren’t that hard.

Or science.  Others think that if science is true, along with things like the Theory of Evolution, then we can’t have a Creator.  Surely a Creator that managed the elephant could manage to create a group of laws to perpetuate the system, along with give us the ability to figure out that particular “code of life” to work with it.

Other people are very uncomfortable with the whole religion and spirituality thing.  I was once upon a time among them.  I wasn’t an atheist, but I also didn’t number myself among the Christians.  Today, I live in the Bible Belt among a predominately fundamentalist population.  I’ve not changed, I’m not likely to suddenly join a Pentecostal church.  I also don’t consider myself to be a Wiccan or any other particular religion.  I do, however, consider myself to be a deeply spiritual person, despite my aversion to wearing a label.  I find the term “God” to be an easy-to-understand word for a concept of a Creator, Source, One, etc. from which we all have sprung.  Soul is a good word to express the concept of our spiritual facet too.  These are non-confrontational ways to talk about concepts and ideas without anyone feeling threatened here.  Pagans can understand as well as Christians.   I guess my whole philosophy is based on tolerance for other belief systems.  There is a saying that “All roads lead to Rome” that is very applicable.  Spiritual awakening can take an infinite number of routes, but in the end, they all wind up the same place.  It doesn’t matter whether you choose to take the route of organized religion or blaze your own path, you’ll arrive there…sooner or later.

Once upon a time, long long ago, when I was young and naive and innocent…I hoped to someday become a wise woman.

Now, I’m slower and grayer, and still hoping to someday become a wise woman.  I do hope (and believe) that I have become wiser with the passage of time.

Today, I believe in many things.   Things like:

• Kindness–even a small kindness can make a huge difference in someone’s life
• Charity–I believe in giving to the community as a whole as well as to those who are struggling.
• Education–Learning is a great gift.  We should learn something every day, and never pass up an opportunity to help someone else learn something new.
• Simplicity–when we keep our lives simple, we leave room for other things.
• Creativity–creativity creates solutions for problems, as well as adds beauty to our lives.
• Appreciation–appreciate what you have, for it can all be gone in the blink of an eye.
• Modesty–This just isn’t about physical modesty, but rather about much more.  A modest lifestyle, a modest attitude, and a modest way of living are all in our best interests.  We don’t need grand awards and lavish homes, nor do we need fat bank accounts to find happiness.
• Joy–Joy should be shared, not hidden away.  Joy should be appreciated.
• Love–It’s one of the things that makes us human.  It’s also one of the few things that grows even faster when we give it away regularly.

There we go.  Some middle-of-the-night musings…

I think we need a “Everlasting Joy Fellowship” rather than another cold, heartless center of deprivation, don’t you?

What do you really need to survive?

Today, on Facebook, that social networking forum we all love to hate, especially when they update the format…one of my friends posted a comment asking people to list what they needed to survive and thrive.  Truly needed.  It made me think.

What do I need to survive and thrive?

There are the obvious needs for food, water, shelter, temperature control, cleanliness, and light.  But..we’re a complex thing, humanity, and we really need a bit more than the basics to actually thrive.  That’s the kicker.

We need a society of some sort.  The program I did tonight with Dr. Synthia Andrews, we briefly touched on the whole 2012 and the demonstrations and whole social agony we seem to be enduring right now…and what it means in the big picture.  Now our primary topic was energy, the energy that makes us tick…but there is also an energy field that is “us” as a whole, as humanity.

It’s obvious that we cannot continue as we have been.  It’s not working, we’re suffering through the growing pains as a world society that says it is not working.  We need to figure out why it’s not working, not as a few scattered individuals who will then “fix” it for us, but as a whole, as a world society.

Of course, I have my theory.  I’ve talked about it often in the past year on the radio program.  What is it?

Humanity is not unlike a child.  As a child grows, not all of it’s individual parts grow evenly.  We’ve all seen it, stages where the legs are too long, the ears too big, the nose too small, and the teeth too large.  We are the same intellectually too–kids tend to make leaps and bounds in their educational endeavors unevenly as well, advancing in one area beyond their years, while lagging behind in other areas.

Humanity and our society has been growing, just like a child.  We’ve been focused on our physical reality for the past two hundred or so years, learning about science and technology.  We’ve learned to manufacture goods at amazing rates, to fly to the moon and return, and to create computers that are amazing in their compact size and power.  We can communicate across the planet instantly.  We can fly, we can sail, we can drive, we can take the train.

But we have missed the boat in terms of our non-physical selves.  We’ve neglected that “spiritual” side, bandaged it with religions, and pursued the physical.  Now, we have reached a crisis point, we have got to spend more time and attention on the neglected facet of what a human is, what society is, and what humanity can be.  Without that deficit in our development being remedied, we’re doomed, we’ll be unable to make the changes we need in order for humanity to survive.  Once again, chaos will throw humanity back to the stone age for the process to start all over again.  Do we really need that kind of a slap-down lesson?

Many people believe we’ve made this journey before, time and time again.  There are theories about ancient civilizations and even “pre-civilizations” before them.  There are stories of Atlantis and Mu, theories of Egypt, the Inca, the Maya…

How many times have we stood at this cross roads of development, only to crash?

Is that what these aliens are coming here to watch?

It doesn’t matter if you “believe” in alien visitation, in Mu, in Atlantis…or the Seven Cities of Cibola.  It doesn’t matter if  you are Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or worship the battered Coke bottle that fell from the sky.  It doesn’t matter if you barely finished junior high or have a PhD.  It doesn’t even matter if you barely eke out enough of a living to feed yourself hand to mouth or if you sit with a massive stack of gold bricks under your bed.

We’re still all humans, and like it or not, we’re all in this together.  We better learn to get along, we’re kind of running out of time.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think the world is going to *end* on December 21, 2012.  I think I’ll celebrate Christmas and New Year then just the same as always.  But, our lives are going to change, whether President Obama is re-elected or Billy Bob Johnson is elected.  It doesn’t matter who sits in the Oval Office, really.  It doesn’t even matter which of the “den of thieves” is re-elected to Congress.  (By the way, they’ve long had that sort of nickname applied to both the Senate and House of Representatives, so don’t think we’re the first to be disgusted with the lot of them.)  Our lives are going to change, whether some terrorist blows up all of Washington D.C., whether we have universal health care, whether Social Security is abolished…or not.

It’s up to us to determine what comes next and who’s along for the ride too.  It’s not about genocide–it doesn’t work that way.  It’s about who can adapt to the world we’re all going to be living in…if we’re lucky.  It’s about figuring out new ways to cope with old problems.  It’s about changing the way we interact with our planet, with each other, and with society at large.

We’re not a bunch of small tribes running around with flint arrows anymore.  We better quit acting like we are.

So what do we really need to survive and thrive?

We need the freedom to choose where to live, what to eat, what kind of career path to follow.  We need to be able to get educations.  We need to have access to food, medical care, dental care, clean water, and energy.  We need to provide everyone the best opportunity to be a contributing part of that society too.  We need the freedom to express our spirituality without oppression.  We need the ability to express our feelings, our thoughts, our hopes, and our dreams without oppression too.

We don’t need anyone to tell us what to think, what to believe, and what is right or wrong.  We don’t need to worry about someone inflicting harm on us or our children.

We don’t need excesses, we need enough.

Enough security to be safe.  Enough food to be healthy.  Enough free time to express ourselves and experience life.  Enough work to provide for ourselves and our families.  Enough shelter, enough energy, enough education, enough time to express our creativity.  Enough freedom to excel where we can.  Enough community to prevent our failures from becoming life threatening.

What do we need to get rid of first?

Greed.  Pure and simple, it’s the greed that is killing the world’s society, one starving child at a time.  Greed for money, greed for power.

I guess it’s time for that 99% to start standing up and demanding a bigger slice of the pie.  I may have been disappointed in the lack of a list of objectives from the Occupy Movement, but that is the single unified message I’m hearing.  Greed is killing us all.  It has to stop.

Think about it.  What do you really need out of life?   What do your children need?  It’s not designer jeans and a new car while coming home to the McMansion either.

The God Badge

I often contemplate the whole concept of God.   It doesn’t matter what name you give it, whether it is Allah, Jehovah, God, The Creator, The One, The Source, The God Head, whatever…it’s really the same concept.  A great source of the beginning, the spark that made us…the one and only source.

I watch other people with their evangelical practices, their recruitment to their particular flavor of religion.  I watch the play of politics and religion, and am somewhat horrified at the play of war for the benefit of God too.

So many people feel a need to announce to the world what name they call God, how they worship, and which flavor they are of worshiper.  It’s like some badge they have to wear in order to assure themselves that God knows they believe.  Does that badge make any difference really?

So…we are scheduled for this increased awareness event, this spiritual evolution for 2012…and all those who can’t make the leap to higher consciousness are going to get left behind.  Is that badge going to guarantee you a seat on that upgrade jet?

I mean seriously, do you think God cares if you post on Facebook that you believe in God?  Twitter?  Do you really think God has time for such trivial nonsense as Facebook and Twitter and Foursquare and whatever?  Do you think He cares what you say there?  Is your announcement that you believe in God going to cause any kind of change in yourself or anyone else?

It always reminds me of that old saying…if a man tells you how religious he is…or how honest he is…grab your wallet.

The truly religious, the truly devout, and the truly spiritual aren’t concerned about announcing to others that they are.

So what does all of this badge wearing, sign waving religion all about?

It’s about separatism, its about superiority, it’s about segregation.  It’s about creating friction.

To put it in very fundamentalist terms…this God badge is really a tool of the devil to create discord and strife.  As long as all of these religious factions are divided, despite their true unity with a single God, there will be strife and war and death and aggravation.  If they ever focus on their commonalities rather than their differences, there would truly be a wonderful peaceful world.  What better tool for the negativity that exists than to ensure that these factions stay at war with each other?

It’s scary to see the God Badge coming out in the presidential race too.  It makes me think of the old days with the British and their Church of England versus the Roman Catholic Church going back and forth.  I wonder…what is the religious majority these days in the USA, and what will this mean?  Will it mean that we’re allowed religious freedoms or will they be curtailed?

Maybe I’m a worrywart but then again, I start thinking about this cliche.  ”When they came for the Jews, I said nothing, for I was not a Jew.  When they came for the homosexuals, I said nothing, for I was not a homosexual.  When they came for the infirm, I said nothing, for I was not infirm.  When they came for the gypsies, I said nothing, for I was not a gypsy.  When they came for the foreigners, I said nothing, for I was not a foreigner.  When they came for me, no one was left to say anything.”

Tolerance is sometimes a careful balance, and it seems the scales tip this way and that.  Too much tolerance, and we cease to have an identity or any rules.  Too little, and we’re living in fear of our government.  We need to find our balance.  We need tolerance…within reason, and that reason seems to have flown the coop, resulting in a backlash sort of reaction.

Backlashes can kill too.  

Reactionary government and society at large are a liability.  Lets get real, folks.  We don’t need the God Badge, God already knows and that’s the only one that matters.

2012, the Beatles, knifemaking, moldmaking, and folk art

How’s that for an assortment?

What could these things possibly have in common?

I don’t have a clue.  Do I have to?

I guess the real core of the matter boils down to some simple facts.

• I’ve never been a Beatles fan.  Sure they had great music, but…there’s a lot of great musicians out there.
• 2012…nobody knows if it means a danged thing, we all have to wait for its arrival to find out.
• Knifemaking…a hobby I have never personally been interested in.  Sure, I use knives, but making them?
• Folk art…that’s one area I have had a life long interest in.  Textiles, carving, painting, woodcraft, outsider art…yeah, I’m there.

Outside of that, these have been recent areas of study for me.  Along with Audubon, modern painting techniques, traditional Native American motifs, and plants.

It is as though my mind has become a dry sponge and I’m desperately seeking the moisture of knowledge.

I think the local library has my number on speed dial.  I’m either there or they are calling me to let me know new material I have requested has arrived.  I think that’s one of the best innovations in libraries I’ve seen since micro-fiche (yeah, I’m old…)  I can go online and request books from the county library system.  Now…if I can only figure out how the inter-library loan system works…

But first, the county has a lot of materials for me to absorb.  I’m working diligently on it too.  In addition to skimming 3-4 books on paranormal topics, reading an average of 1 per week, I’m also reading an average of 20 non-fiction books per week plus I’ve recently decided to add at least one fiction book per week to my repertoire.

I guess all of that absorbing is why I’ve also been online less, writing less, and just plain goofing off less.  Why this sudden starved-for-knowledge state?  That’s the real mystery.  I’m reading like its my last chance to learn this stuff, and I am going to need a very broad base of knowledge on which to stand.

Why do I need this base to stand on?

Who knows.  We can get all paranoid about the upcoming changes in the world, and lay the blame at its feet.

I still can’t see why the Beatles would have been important, other than they were a reflection of the times, a public symbol of the things that were going on from WWII until the 1970…and even beyond.  At the same time, when you truly LOOK at the Beatles, those 4 young men were sadly isolated from fun, from the world, and from interacting normally with anyone.  They were imprisoned within their popularity, and the masses would literally have torn them to shreds if it wasn’t for the efforts of security and law enforcement. Perhaps the message is there.

As a species, we destroy what we love the most.

Right there, we have a message about our own fate.  Supposedly, if we are not right with the world, if we are not living as we should, if we aren’t of higher consciousness…we won’t make the transition, instead being left to live out our days on this planet as it turns into a living hell.

If we look at the Beatles in a symbolic sense, one that I’m sure those four men would have found absolutely hilarious, but nonetheless, it works uncannily well…they were consumed by their own passion, their own capacity to express love, and as an act of self preservation…came apart at the seams.

Today, Ringo Starr is 72, and Paul McCartney is 69.  Somehow, even I wonder how they got that old, even though when I was a teenager, they were already “old” in my generation’s eyes.  Rock now has its seniors, and I’m snapping at their heels as I bring up the rear of the baby boom generation.  The other two Beatles are dead, one by violence, the other by cancer.  The two survivors, by some odd coincidence, happen to be vegetarians.  I look at video clips of them performing, and I wonder if that isn’t a key to their senior vitality.

Makes me wonder about a dream sequence I had long ago, in reference to my being an “eater of flesh.”

A look at my budget makes me wonder about the financial implications of remaining an omnivore, and the reality of the matter is that meat no longer forms much of our diet, and when it does…it’s normally fish or poultry.  Living on the coast, it would be easy to abandon red meat and poultry, and stick to solely consuming fish and seafood as our “meat.”  Then…my mind pops off to the BP Oil Spill, the dispersent chemicals, and the continuing debate about the safety of the Gulf waters.  I go back and forth between its safe and it’s not so safe.  I look at the bayou as we ride in our little flat bottomed jon boat, and watch the birds and grasses too.  They look pretty good to me.

But what do I know anyhow?

But back to the Beatles…

As part of their late-Beatles history, there is the fact that they all came into contact with Eastern religions and mysticism.  Do I think all of the answers lay with these ideas?  No, just like I figure that if all of the ancients were so darned smart, why are their cultures all dead?

Nothing lasts forever.  Not even the Beatles did.

But at the same time, those who fail to remember, and learn from, their history…are doomed to repeat it.  This world has seen one culture after another rise and then crumble away, sometimes to linger in memory and fable, and other times, perhaps never be remembered at all.  What have we learned?

I’m afraid its not a darned thing.

We think we’re better than the Romans, the Greeks, the Egyptians, the Czars, the Toltecs, the Mayans, the Incas…and even Atlanteans and people of Mu.  We’re civilized and technological and so advanced…

Maybe I better set aside more time for meditation.

Then again, do I want to progress…and leave those I love behind?  I mean…how can my grand daughter possibly raise her consciousness?  She’s still working at getting food to her mouth, raising her consciousness isn’t an issue yet.

I tell people often.  I’m getting pretty darned good at questions.

I also tell them, I wish I was still as smart as I was when I was 18 and knew everything.

Sometimes, this whole living thing is crazy, just about the time we start making progress, start figuring things out and which way to go, our bodies start to fall apart and our minds start getting sluggish.  It’s not FAIR.

So I stomp my feet and rage at the Ladies of Fate, up there in the clouds in their jury box ala Ironsides.  They can quit pitching stuff at me any time, I’m needing everything I’ve got now just to go the distance with anything resembling grace.  I’m getting old too, and I wasn’t ready for that.  I can’t run a mile to save my own hide.  I tried swimming, and discovered that I can’t do that anymore either.

I still remember when on a dare, I swam across the lake, just to prove I could.  Of course, I also remember that terrifying sensation when as a teenager, I leaped into a canal to swim across…and discovered a current that was horrifyingly powerful was sweeping me downstream faster than I could have ran alongside.  I made it, and swore I’d never do anything so stupid again.

The lesson there?  Fear is sometimes a wise adviser, and Fear can also be your worst enemy when you ignored its first warning.  Let the fear go, and just keep kicking.

That advice served me well when a former boyfriend tried to strangle me one night.  He nearly succeeded.  When I kicked him the last time, I had long since lost the ability to see or hear, everything had gone black, that last kick was the very last movement I was going to make on this planet, so I better make it the best damned kick I could.  It worked, and that was the sweetest breath of air ever drawn.

No, I didn’t go to the police…it would have been his word against mine, and an overwhelming “she must have deserved it” sentiment.  After all, I was alive, so he couldn’t have been too serious about it.  A lot of things have changed since those days, and for the better.  ”The Good Old Days” had their downside too.

So, I’m back to my books.  There’s a lot more to learn while I can.

What is spiritual enlightenment anyway?

We hear a lot about New Age stuff, and one of the things often tossed in that large and irregular shaped bin is “spiritual enlightenment.”

So what IS spiritual enlightenment?

It’s a very individual thing, and yet…its not.

It’s one of those things with many shades of meaning.

At the core, enlightenment implies something magical is going to happen, some sort of inner “lighting up” as though your switch is turned on.  As long as you don’t take that too literally, it is rather true.  Your switch is turned on.  You are more aware, not only of your own singularity, your own spirituality, but your oneness with everything, your unity with all, and your utter lack of singularity.

I did tell you it wasn’t a simple answer, didn’t I?

I once asked someone who was riding the New Age horse as hard and fast as she could, claiming the enlightenment had already blessed her, what spirituality meant.  She replied after a moment of silence that it was doing good deeds.

Okay, good deeds are a great start, but is that enough?

I’m sure that everyone has their moment and does a good deed here and there…does that mean they are spiritual in nature?

Not hardly.  There are a lot of motives to do those “good deeds” that have nothing to do with spirituality.  The answer was far too simplistic and short sighted.  How many politicians have we seen who do “good deeds” for photo ops and to ensure their voters remain their voters?  Does that mean that many politicians are spiritual?

Don’t choke, please.  We have a lot more to think about.

Spiritual enlightenment doesn’t happen by accident, and it doesn’t happen overnight.  You can’t sign up for a weekend seminar and expect to come home enlightened.  You can’t go spend a year in a monastery and come home to have a lifetime of enlightenment either.  It’s not a one-time event, like a vaccination for measles.  Comparing it to medical conditions, it is probably closer to a case of Type 1 diabetes–it’s a lifetime treatment and management program.

All roads lead to Rome was once a common saying, as the Romans were the great road builders of the ancient world.  It is a saying with another nuance of meaning too.  It means that all (or many/most) paths lead to the same destination.  The same is true of spiritual enlightenment.  Religion, which is a separate concept from spirituality, doesn’t have a monopoly on spiritual enlightenment.  That means, that contrary to their practices and “advertising”, no religion holds the sole key to achieving spiritual enlightenment.

The same is true of the practices used in the search for the right path to that elusive spiritual enlightenment.  What works for one doesn’t mean it will work for everyone.  It might be meditation, prayer, self-deprivation, silence, solitude, exercise, or whatever…

You don’t even need a guru to take you there.  It’s always a self-made journey, even when its done with the guidance of a mentor, the best they can do is supply you with the tools and a map to strive towards your goal.

To make it even stranger, perhaps, once you have knocked on the door of spiritual enlightenment and been allowed within…that doesn’t mean you have a lifetime pass to re-enter.  Universal mind experiences are nice, but they are singular points if they are not followed up on.

In a sense, spiritual enlightenment is rather similar to an athletic achievement.  Just because you could run a three minute mile a decade ago, and climbed Mount Everest five years ago…doesn’t mean you can compete in the Olympics next year.

If you wanted to remain a contender for the Olympic team, you would continue to train, to work your body, to expand your abilities to their maximum, and to strive towards being faster and better.  You couldn’t just sit at home and tell everyone how you had achieved physical perfection as you dined on chocolate bonbons and rich pasta dishes without expecting to lose ground for lack of conditioning and gaining of weight.

It’s the same thing with our “spiritual bodies.”

They need work outs too, on a regular basis.  They have to be kept limber and fit, well conditioned and with rapid reflexes.

So what are YOUR spiritual calisthenics these days?

Think about it a while.  Maybe your inner light needs to have a new bulb?

The sanctity of marriage?

The Defense of Marriage Act is what prohibits federal recognition of same-sex marriages, whether or not it is a legal union in the state of residency of the person in question, they can’t take family leave, add their partner to their health insurance coverage, etc. in the eyes of good old Uncle Sam.  This isn’t about homosexuality and whether or not we support alternative lifestyles really.  It’s really about states’ rights.  It falls in the same category as a state legalizing medical marijuana, and Uncle Sam sending in the troops to arrest anyone who sells it to the people the state has authorized to possess and use it.  It falls in the same ball park as Uncle Sam telling us what we buy and from whom in terms of health insurance too.  Or what kinds of crops and where we can buy the seeds from and whether or not we’ll be allowed to grow these crops on our own land, including the home garden.

Do we really want Uncle Sam to override reasonable laws established by individual states?

I object to the principle of the Defense of Marriage Act.  I don’t think it is a “good” law, and I think it should be repealed.  So, like any good citizen, I wrote my congressman.    This is his response:

July 18, 2011

 

 

 

Thank you for contacting me regarding the Defense of Marriage Act. As your Congressman, I am committed to putting the needs of Mississippi families first. Knowing your views and ideas on federal legislation is critical in order to best represent Mississippians. Your comments and ideas are always appreciated.

 

On February 23, 2011, the Justice Department announced that it will no longer defend a federal marriage law enacted by Congress in 1996. The Defense of Marriage Act affirms the definition of marriage as the union between one man and one woman. It was passed with bipartisan support in Congress and signed into law by President Bill Clinton. I firmly believe in the sanctity of marriage, and I fully support this law. Although we disagree on this matter, I appreciate knowing how you stand on this issue.

 

Again, thank you for contacting me and helping me better understand the concerns of Mississippians. If there is anything else I can do for you, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

 

 

Sincerely,

Steven M. Palazzo
Member of Congress

 

Apparently, I’m missing something here, and decided that it was time to define “sanctity of marriage” better so I could understand where Steven Palazzo is coming from.

From this Lutheran based (specific Protestant Christian sect) website, I found the following:

The Sanctity of Marriage
 "To be married and to understand married life are two very different matters."1 Even the 
believer may have misconceptions about the meaning, purpose, or sanctity of married life. Such 
understandings may be the result of observations made during our upbringing or that which we 
have seen or heard as we are "in the world" even though we are "not of the world." At times we 
are troubled by worldly norms and understandings of reason much the same as Lot was in Sodom 
and Gomorrah, "For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his 
righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds" (2 Pet. 2:8). For that reason we must 
turn unto the Holy Word of God which remains the only unchanging and unshakeable foundation 
upon which one can build. Before it all, human reasoning and understandings must give way. 
Let us examine our topic, The Sanctity of Marriage in the light of God's Word and with the help 
of His Spirit.  
Well, that's one point of view.  Next, I checked Wikipedia for a broader version of a definition.
There, they state that the Catholic Church's position is:

The Catholic Church teaches that God Himself is the author of the sacred institution of marriage, which is His way of showing love for those He created. Marriage is a divine institution that can never be broken, even if the husband or wife legally divorce in the civil courts; as long as they are both alive, the Church considers them bound together by God. Holy Matrimony is another name for sacramental marriage.

Marriage is intended to be a faithful, exclusive, lifelong union of a man and a woman. Committing themselves completely to each other, a Catholic husband and wife strive to sanctify each other, bring children into the world, and educate them in the Catholic way of life. Man and woman, although created differently from each other, complement each other. This complementarity draws them together in a mutually loving union.

The same Wikipedia entry also states the following:

In both Matthew and Mark, Jesus appealed to God’s will in creation. He builds upon the narrative in Genesis 1:27 and 5:2 where male and female are created together and for one another. Thus Jesus takes a firm stand on the permanence of marriage in the original will of God. This corresponds closely with the position of the Pharisee school of thought led by Shammai, at the start of the first millennium,^[8][9][10] with which Jesus would have been familiar. By contrast, Judaism subsequently took the opposite view, espoused by Hillel, the leader of the other major Pharisee school of thought at the time; in Hillel’s view, men were allowed to divorce their wives for any reason.^[8]

Where there was failure in the marriage, Jesus found husband and wife equally responsible. The two are joined together by God so that “they are no longer two, but one.” He brought together two passages from Genesis, reinforcing the basic position on marriage found in Jewish scripture. Thus, he implicitly emphasized that it is God-made (“God has joined together”), “male and female,” lifelong (“let no one separate”), and monogamous (“a man…his wife”).^[11]

Jesus used the image of marriage and the family to teach the basics about the kingdom of God. He inaugurated his ministry by blessing the wedding feast at Cana. In the Sermon on the Mount he set forth a new commandment concerning marriage, teaching that lustful looking constitutes adultery. He also superseded a Mosaic Law allowing divorce with his teaching that “…anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.”^[12]

There is no evidence that Jesus himself ever married, and considerable evidence that he remained single. In contrast to Judaism and many other traditions,^[2]:p.283 he taught that there is a place for voluntary singleness in Christian service. He believed marriage could be a distraction from an urgent mission.^[13]

He believed he was living in a time of crisis and urgency where the Kingdom of God would be established where there would be no marriage nor giving in marriage.

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus said to them, “no one who has left home or wife or brothers or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age and, in the age to come, eternal life.”|[Luke 18:29–30]

But the federal government in general takes a more secular view of things, as it is supposed to, with the constitutional right to freedom of religion.  Using religious rules to forbid something…is not really the American way.  Basic moral rules are adopted, but these are actually more of a universal law rather than religion specific laws.  If we were to adopt a strictly Christian point of view, there would be  no businesses open on Sundays, nor would anyone work on Sundays.  This is obviously not the case.  So despite a nominally Christian majority, this picking and choosing of right and wrong seems prejudiced.  Same sex marriages don’t collect extra taxes, but businesses at work on Sundays do generate revenue?

Answers.com offers a U.S. government definition of the sanctity of marriage as follows:

A reasonable synonym of “sanctity of marriage” is “holy matrimony.” Traditionally, marriage vows read (paraphrased, as couples are usually free to cite their own vows) “Let this man and this woman be united before God and let no man put asunder”; i.e. they put the sanctity of their union in the hands of a higher power, and let no earthly being destroy that union, unless they ask a court of law to destroy it.

However, judging by the “reasonably close to actual” 50% divorce rate, as stated on the website divorcerate.org, there is no ‘sanctity’ of the marriage anymore. Too many people, apparently, get married for the ‘wrong’ reasons. “Sanctity” is defined as holiness, or sacredness, and apparently, not enough people hold their marriages to that standard. So, using this concept, ‘sanctity of marriage’ is whatever the married persons hold it up to be.

It goes on with more for the second answer with this:

Sanctity of marriage is the idea of the sacredness of marriage. Marriage is one of the holiest of relations two people can have. Therefore, marriage is not something to be entered into lightly. Further, once you are in a marriage, you must work hard to make it work. You have to treat it as sacred, and spend time making it work, no matter the cost.

The greatest threat to the sanctity of marriage is lack of respect for it, thus leading to degeneration of the marriage, and often divorce (in the US). Giving up on a marriage is considered sacrilegious and selfish. Sanctity of marriage is not subjective, and to be interpreted at the whims of people who have found it too hard or too difficult. The sanctity of marriage demands personal sacrifice.

Now Greg and I have announced our plans to get married on October 29th.  We’re getting married in the  State of Mississippi too.  The requirements are fairly simple–we have to be tested for syphilis (ala 1930s, obviously Mississippi does not change quickly.  Only one other state still requires a syphilis test.  Of all of the STDs to test for, in 2011, syphilis is a minor issue) and take the certified test results to the Clerk of the Court, along with $22 in cash and our state issued photo identification.  We will then be issued a marriage license.  I know this because I called the clerk of the court to ask exactly what we needed to do.  We’ll get the blood test from the health department and it takes about a week to obtain the certified results.  We have to then take the blood test certificate to the clerk of the court within 30 days.  The blood test certificate will expire at that point, but the marriage license is good eternally.

Okay…some things don’t make sense, but you don’t argue when you want to get married and can follow rules, even if they seem rather silly.  But what if we were a same sex couple?

We wouldn’t be getting married in Mississippi.  As a conservative state, I don’t anticipate that changing any time soon.  As a result, I suspect that there is a relatively small gay community in the state, with the majority choosing to live in states with fewer ultra-conservative views.  I don’t regard that as smart business, but it is the decision of the majority of voters in the state.  (Statistically, gay individuals and couples have a higher income, and as a result, more disposable income.  That means they pay more taxes and buy more products than the average low income couple with several children.)

But we are a traditional couple.  We are taking the whole wedding and marriage thing very seriously, but we are rather serious about most things we choose to do.  That’s just the way we are, not something some law says we have to be.  But I look around in the district represented by Steven Palazzo and I question the level of sanctity of marriage that most of his constituents are observing.

I question too the legitimacy of legalizing the “sanctity of marriage” in the Christian sense.  Will that require that married couples attend a church, perhaps also designated by the Department of Sanctity?  What other facets of their life with be examined under a microscope by the Department of Sanctity?

It would be better if the whole concept of a “Department of Sanctity” was really just a joke.  Once upon a time, the Department of Homeland Security was just a joke…until September 11, 2001.  Now, even the border patrol and immigration services are enveloped by its “protective” arms.  In reality, how secure are Americans now in comparison to before 9/11?  How much of our personal freedom has been sacrificed in search of that “security” that we’ve been promised in return?

The Defense of Marriage Act is another example of Uncle Sam attempting to keep each state under his not-so-benevolent thumb, restricting state rights as well as individual rights and freedoms.  Steven Palazzo’s belief in the sanctity of marriage is fine and dandy, but in reality…the Defense of Marriage Act has nothing to do with “sanctity” and everything to do with homophobic laws that override state laws.  I’d have felt better about his response if he had simply stated that he would not support anything that opened the door to same sex marriage because his personal belief system did not permit the term marriage to be applied to same sex marriages and that he felt that gay couples should be financially penalized for their sexual preferences.  At least it would have been clearer without me pursuing the definitions of “sanctity of marriage” on the internet.