Pay it forward?

The past few months have been really tough for Greg and I.  We’ve been struggling, barely keeping things together.  Sometimes, it would be very easy to get very depressed about it all.  But then, I stepped back and thought about what was going on.

It’s not that we have failed, but rather I see it as a lesson we needed to learn.  Maybe me more than Greg, to be honest.  It’s a lesson in humility.  I was arrogant and reluctant to let people help me, even after becoming disabled.  I kept on insisting I could do it on my own, even when it was becoming blatantly obvious that that was not a true statement.  Still, I refused to admit defeat and give in, accepting help.  It was hard to even ask Greg to help me when I couldn’t get dressed or undressed.  To let someone else see that I was struggling was unthinkable.

I thought I was better than that, it seems.  That’s a risky thing to do, because when you don’t learn your lessons, they just get harder.

That’s what the universe did to me, it seems.  I wasn’t getting the lesson with just the physical aspect, so they delivered a secondary version.  It’s like those Ladies of Fate looked down at me and frowned, saying she didn’t get it the first time, let’s hit her in the pocketbook this time!

And then they cackled.

Okay, so I have a wild imagination.  Even so, I am convinced that they did in fact cackle.

So the financial woes hit, and as we navigated those rapids on the river of life, apparently, I wasn’t learning fast enough to suit them.  So then, Greg has his heart attack.  While he could have died, he didn’t, for which we’re both very thankful.  But it scared me and scared me good, as well as put him in the hospital for a week, leaving me to cope on my own.

It was like watching a house of cards when a stiff breeze struck them.  It all began to fall apart for me.  Greg has no idea how fragile my world suddenly became–he missed those melt downs.  I had no idea how I would cope, with anything.  The stress was killing me.  The fear was paralyzing me.  All I had was a fragile thread of hope binding us to manage to get through this somehow.

And people helped me.  Some of it was financial, some of it was emotional, and some of it was very intangible.  Even the rude people who upset me and made me angry actually were helping me, because then I had at least anger to help keep a stiff spine and keep on going.  When Greg got out, we managed to find more help to get over those first weeks as we tried to figure out how on earth we were going to get by.  Family helped too.  It seemed to be strings of minor miracles coming together, creating a ladder that looks like we might actually survive it all after all.

And I learned.  At some point in our lives, we all need help.  This is important because if we fail to accept those times, we’re also depriving someone else of their own lesson.

Because at some point in our lives, we need to help others.  It might be a small thing, it might be a bigger thing, it might even be a huge thing.  It doesn’t matter what the size is, the whole point is that by helping someone else, we’re learning how to be a little less selfish and a little more giving.  Like the Grinch…our hearts can grow a size larger.

And then, at some other point in our lives, it’s time to pay that debt and pay it forward.  I’d already been in that position.  Long ago, on several occasions, total strangers helped me, for no reason at all.  I hadn’t asked for it, even though I really desperately needed help.  I did manage to accept it graciously and thankfully.  Since I don’t even know who they were, there is no possibility of ever paying them back for that help.

Or is there?

To me, it was a case of paying it forward.  Random acts of kindness to others doesn’t hurt.  It doesn’t even cost a lot usually.  It might take a bit of extra time, a bit of extra attention, a dash of true consideration…but that’s a small price to pay really.

Because you never know when you will be suddenly thrust into walking in their shoes for a day or longer.  You never know what life is going to dish out to you, and suddenly leave you in a position of desperation and loss of hope.

I know most people get on the bandwagon for donating time and money around the holidays.  That’s really nice.  The fact is, there are people in desperate situations every single day of the year.  Get up, go and do something.  It’s like making a deposit in  your karmic bank account–and you never know when you’ll need to make a withdrawal.  Finding a cause is great, but it doesn’t have to be something that well defined.  Maybe its giving a ride to a neighbor, buying a package of diapers for a young family, a box of groceries for an elderly person, or a donation to the local food bank.  Even something as simple as carrying in a trash can for an aging neighbor might do more than spare them the effort–it might restore their faith in humanity and make them feel like someone cares.

Make a difference, somehow, to someone.  Make someone’s day a little brighter, not so that they will like you or do something for you, but just to see them smile.  You might be really surprised at the side effects that it will have on  you.

People

We went to Lowe’s today.  Greg needed some supplies, and that was where they were to be found, so off we went.

We parked near the garden center, as I wanted to explore what they had available there, as well as search their prices.  As we walked in, a young man asked us how we were and whether he could help us.  Greg was his usual smart alec self.

He asked if they sold sanity by the box.

I kept walking, but part of me regrets that now.  I should have either stood there or ran away, so I either had no clue about the rest of the conversation, or got to watch these rocket scientists in action.

I will NEVER again ask any Lowe’s employee for any help with making a decision, because I know that they also came from the same hiring process.  Sit down, but go to the bathroom first, before you read another word, if  you are prone to springing a leak when laughing hard.

The young man proceeds to tell Greg where the boxes of sanity were found.  Greg, assuming he had not heard him correctly, says no, boxes of sanity.  (emphasis on sanity)

The guy says he’s not sure what that is, so Greg, with far more patience than I would have, tells him its the opposite of insane.  He nodded sagely, and calls his companion for advice.  His companion comes up with the answer.

“We are all sold out.  It’s been on back order for two weeks.”

Now, for most people, we’d assume they were joking, right?  Just like Greg was joking.  The first guy tells the other guy that there might be some left on aisle six.  I’m starting to get very worried.  This pair might have a box cutter or something on them.

Greg starts to finally understand that they aren’t going to understand, and he tells them nevermind, it was just a joke.

Junior rocket scientist assures him that they’ll surely have it back in stock next week.

About this point, I decided that moving indoors to the seeds was appropriate.  This pair scared me, because if it turned out that they had a third brain cell between the two of them, all sorts of things might occur.

Get a book, read there how to fix things.  Do not depend on a store clerk to have a clue!

The Facebook Bubble

There are rumors flying that the Facebook bubble is about to burst, that it has exceeded its own growth potential, resulting in a speedy demise.

Maybe it has, and maybe it hasn’t.  I’m not an expert, but…I am smart enough to learn from the past.  That’s what history is for, isn’t it?

We have had a lot of bubbles related to the internet.  The dot com bubble burst some time ago.  MySpace, once the king of social networking, is pretty much history.  I have an account, but I have logged into it about twice in the last three years.  Even then, it was just to connect with someone who hadn’t moved on to Facebook, not because I cared about my own account.  I didn’t like it much, and I found it awkward and with an excessively youthful nature.  Facebook suited me better, with a more run of the mill air about it as Every Man and Every Woman took to it like ducks to water.  Now, I actually know some people who think the internet IS Facebook, never leaving its comforting pages to wander unfettered through the digital universe we have collectively created.

At the same time, people aren’t going to magically abandon Facebook unless something better comes along.  Google presented us with Google Plus, then disappointed many users as it adopted more and more features that resembled those of Facebook.  We hadn’t flocked to it for a Facebook replacement, we had flocked there to find something DIFFERENT.  Somehow, I think it may have failed to deliver what we were craving, although it does have some of the features people seek.

So what do people want?

That is the million dollar question really.  In general, among the people I have approached , they want some specific things:

Ability to connect with others with similar ideas/interests.

Ability to control how much information is made public.

Ability to integrate and yet separate their private and public personas.  (Yes, they are different!  We all have our pro side, and then we have the side who gets depressed, eats a quart of ice cream, a whole bag of chips, and vegs on the sofa for an entire weekend in their pajamas…featuring My Little Pony on the bodice.  Do we really want our co-worker and clients s to see our angst?)

The ability to share things, especially cute kittens and political  memes.  Oh, and their opinions, of course.  Often.  Without.  Thinking.

The real kicker is that it is hard to keep public and private separate, and yet it is very important.  More and more companies want to take a look at who you are on Facebook before..and after….hiring you.  There have been cases where they wanted the passwords as well, even before hiring you.  (Not sure how legal that really is, and I would object strongly, but desperation in this job market probably inspired many applicants to just give in.)  Law enforcement is looking harder at this information as well, and many people suspect that the government spies on us all continually through social media.  If so, I hope they enjoy the recipes and cute animal pictures  that litter my posts.  Oh, and MouseHunt, the one game that I keep on playing.

So, that big mysterious agency, which is called Big Undercover Liberty Limiting Special Host of Investigating Technicians (BULLSHIT for short) is watching our every tweet and post, whether its on Google Plus, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, or Secret Text Updating Data Inside Technology (aka STUPID) status update in search of covert, illegal, or terrorist activities.  That’s a big job, and it’s an important one.  After all, not even the super snooping capabilities of the latest CARNIVORE government spyware program can detect and analyze the language used inside of a cute kitten meme.  They have even found it necessary to put undercover agents into the dating sites in search of terrorists and anarchists who are using these sites to find women to marry and then obtain legal status to continue their illegal activities in the United States.

Sure they are.

The US is notorious, world wide, for their strong stance against illegal entry compared to other countries.

And I have a couple of bridges for sale, one on each coast of the USA, been in the family for a long time…

Go try sneaking into Mexico, China, North Korea, or heck, even sneak into Iraq while  you are at it.  After you have your “vacation” they’ll send you home, free of charge, right?

Wrong.

But that’s okay, we’re okay with that.  Just like we’re okay with the way Facebook is going.  Never mind that we’re already suspicious of their marketing techniques and desires to use our names and images to promote other goods and services.  We’ll happily go along with it, until the rats all find another ship to jump to.  All we have to do is figure out which ship will be the one they choose, so we’re riding along with our own cheese store, right?

At least  we know what it won’t be.  It won’t be Yahoo, MSN, AOL, MySpace, or G+.  Will it simply fracture apart, as people opt to leave the ultra populated space for smaller, more intimate and more user-responsive versions of social media?

Actually, I think that’s what I would place my bet on.  As shifts occur in how we interact, obtain our information and entertainment, how we shop, and where we work, we’re going to see that continual evolution.  Chat programs, while now usually subscription based, are becoming increasingly popular, and often oriented to topic or demographic data oriented.  We want our information and written entertainment also delivered digitally, and that creates another mode of connection.

That makes me wonder.  What if Amazon introduced a social media program, one that allowed people to discuss types of products, literary works by genre, etc.?  Would we see the rise of that type of social media connection, one provided by the seller of goods as a way to encourage people to continue shopping via their website rather than to venture into the “real world” with all of its inconveniences, expenses and dangers?

Or maybe we’ll see the right wing control factor coming into play, and instead of corporations operating the social media, it will become a government sponsored, controlled, and monitored environment.  We’ll all be tagged with our personal data, preventing any more mysterious encounters, as well as encounters of the really dangerous sort that we’ve all heard about.

The ancient Chinese may have regarded “May you live in interesting times” as a curse, but it’s our mantra.  We do live in interesting times, and who knows how they’ll be regarded in the future.  Are we going to be immortalized in unrealistic works of fiction that equate this era to the Wild Wild West that really never was what the movies portray it as?

That could be too.  All I know is that we’re going to see changes, some from evolution, others from reactionary governments.  We’ll see how our data is delivered and censored change, as well as who delivers what will change.  The wild and utterly independent voices of today’s internet radio may be silenced in the coming years, as expenses continue to rise as economies continue to struggle.  We don’t know.

But, it will definitely be interesting to watch and find out, won’t it?

 

The justification for rape

It’s funny, we often hear how women provoke rape because of their attire and behavior.  I find this ludicrous.  That’s no different than a bank robber defending their actions by saying the presence of the money in the bank  caused them to have the uncontrollable urge to get a gun and rob it.  It literally is NO DIFFERENT!

I hear it more and more, how women are provoking these attacks.  Maybe it is time to reconsider.

If men are so unable to control their behavior, perhaps it’s not the women’s attire, but rather that men themselves are incapable of self control.  Of course, by making this sweeping decision, we’d have to make a lot of other changes too.

Someone who can’t restrain themselves from forcing sex with someone obviously shouldn’t be able to vote.  They might see a woman at the polls, because at least in most of the polling places I have been, half or more of the workers are female.  Some of the candidates on the list  might also be female, and their uncontrollable thought patterns might be inspired by the sight of a feminine name.  So, no more men voting.

Then, we have men in political office.  Any one of them might have uncontrollable urges at some point.  They obviously are not competent to hold public office, since sex is their strongest instinct.   We may even have proof to further this point of view with so many male politicians caught up in various sex scandals, with women, other men, and with children too.  Joined with the whole issue of men not being able to restrain themselves if an attractive woman in attractive clothing should come into view.  Then again,  not all victims of rape are attractive women.  Sometimes, they are elderly women, disabled women, disfigured women, handicapped women, or just plain average women.  It might not be the clothing either.  Even nuns wearing habits have been raped.  I’d not call that garb exactly “provacative” in any sense of the word!

Of course, soldiers have historically had a reputation for raping and pillaging, dating way back to biblical times.  We would have to immediately dismiss all males from the various branches of the military too.  Obviously, we cannot expect them to work with women, see women, defend women, or fight women.  Even other men might not be too safe, if all of the old lewd jokes about sailors is true.

Men would not be allowed to roam the streets freely either.   After all, it is a proven fact that most rapes are committed by men who were not restrained.  So, all men would have to be confined behind fences and walls, or shackled for excursions into public areas where women and children might frequent.  That situation will also cause a great deal of problems, because now we’ll have a large number of dependent men who must be guarded and confined, no longer allowed to contribute to society in general except within the confines of their secured homes and the prisons that we’ll undoubtedly need to house the immense number of men who are unclaimed by a responsible female.

Of course, the issue of at what age a boy would no longer be allowed in the company of respectable women due to his increasing risk of uncontrolled urges to rape.  Most boys would probably be deemed “safe” until they neared puberty and started exhibiting signs of their uncontrolled natures.

Just think of all the freedom women would enjoy if they were released from the tyranny of these men with their uncontrollable urges!  What contributions to society women would be able to make if they were free to work, study, and socialize without the fear of this behavior!

Come to think of it, we’d probably do away with wars too, other than as a way for these violent and uncontrolled males to vent some of their aggression in non-raping activities.  With the men confined, the wars would cause far less damage to our planet and our society too, as they would have to war within their own compound area, rather than over entire countries.

While this may seem utterly ridiculous as a response to rape, so are the rapes themselves.  Rapes are a violent assault on a person, and they are also a theft of the vilest sort, as everything the victim has believed in has been shattered permanently.  No rape victim ever goes back to being “normal” again.  They will always have that scar across their psyche, permanently and viciously implanted by the callous act of another.  To let the perpetrators of this crime pour more salt onto the wound by blaming the victim is ridiculous, even if the woman was walking stark  naked down the street, any man should be able to respect her rights as a person to determine her own actions without coercion, regardless of whether there was a law or not.  Rape of men is also the same, they too bear the scars of the crime, and it will affect the rest of their lives just as it does a woman’s life.

I don’t care how many ridiculously and deliberately obtuse politicians stand up at the podium and claim that women don’t get pregnant during rape.  Ask a doctor, it CAN happen.  STDs can also be transmitted, and we all know that some of them are dreadful diseases to try and live with.  That’s just the physical results of the rape, if there is no damage done physically beyond the rape itself.  Unfortunately, that’s not always the case.  Sometimes, the victim is also damaged physically, leaving them in pain, needing reconstructive surgery, and/or permanently disfigured from the assault.  Rape isn’t a joke.  It is a violent act.  It cannot be condoned.  It cannot be ignored or swept under the rug.  The victims should not be put on trial, and I don’t care if they just finished making a porn flick and were wearing the most provocative club clothing ever seen on the streets of the town.  It cannot be justified.

So guys, you can’t have it both ways.  You are either fully capable of being rational and exercising control, or you aren’t, and if you aren’t, you should NOT be put in a position to control anything.  If I can’t trust you with my daughter, how could I possibly trust you with my government, my money, my anything?

The heart attack

I have not been posting as often as usual.  I’ve been a bit busy, which sounds like a very trite excuse.  For those who don’t follow me via my radio program or Facebook, I have decided that I had best explain myself.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband had a massive heart attack.  We did everything wrong, starting with not recognizing it as a heart attack and not seeking immediate medical attention.  When we did seek medical attention, we never did get a clear answer on whether it was another one or the aftermath of the first that caused Greg to become unable to breathe easily, but that was the symptom that sent us to the local ER.

Fortunately for us, especially Greg, he survived, despite our mistakes.  The bad part is that the longer it takes to get medical attention, the worse the damages to the heart are.  He had complications, and despite angioplasty and stents being put into place, his heart wasn’t going to magically repair itself.  He had a very large blood clot in the apex of his heart where the blood had pooled when the artery was clogged and the flow of blood stopped.  That required a week of heparin drip, as well as starting him on a blood thinner to prepare him for release.

What didn’t get prepared was our minds.  Greg wasn’t in a high risk group for a heart attack, and we weren’t prepared for the changes that it has brought to our lives.  I am already disabled and limited in what I can manage physically.  Compared to Greg now, I’m the able one.  I had to figure out how to do things that he had done before, somehow. I still haven’t gotten the trash cans out for our trash pickup.  That’s for tomorrow night!

Then, there were the dietary changes.  We already ate mostly low sodium meals, and we did monitor fat content, but suddenly, all of that became more critical.  In addition, I soon learned that our vegetables were all “high” for Vitamin K, and as a result, needed to be restricted as much as the sodium or fat content.  In fact, it was perhaps more critical for the short term because it directly and immediately  interferes with the blood thinner.  Now, grocery shopping was a huge undertaking, as was meal preparation.  I’m a very skilled cook, but this was a new facet and I found myself seeking out recipes online that would serve as starting points to create the foods that we could enjoy eating.

Greg isn’t “out of the woods” as the saying goes.  He’s still adapting, and there are concerns about his physical well being.  Even more important, is the non-physical aspects of his recovery.  He seems to have lost the optimism that always was his trademark.  His temper is often on a hair trigger, and inanimate objects seem unusually capable of causing a melt down.  His chivalry is assaulted daily, as I struggle to do things like carry in groceries, laundry, or whatever physical task I’m tackling.  I have to argue with him, and it isn’t a quick argument, since I have to break it down into smaller steps, usually requiring many trips rather than one or two.

It isn’t possible for him to reasonably help with daily routine activities.  He’s exhausted by the simple things, like walking from the house to the car.  He doesn’t want to go anywhere, perhaps because of the exhaustion that the trip would result in.  Last week, we had a relatively simple appointment to keep, which required an extensive wait in a reception area.  We followed it with a short stop at a small grocery store.  The result was he was so exhausted that his speech was slurred and he staggered as he walked from the car to the house.  It’s as though his brain starts shutting down too, and he then becomes quite childlike at that time.

For those who know Greg, that’s a shocking change in personality.  As his wife, I find it more than merely shocking, it’s horrifying.

I had talked to his cardiologists assistant last week about his medications and expressed some concerns about his physical well being, particularly the level of exhaustion that was resulting from even below the approved level of activity.  (His restrictions were to walk around the house, short store trips, and to lift nothing over 25 lbs.)  We haven’t tested his lifting ability–it’s pointless when the house walking exhausts him.  Sitting in his chair at his desk exhausts him, and where he used to work for hours there, now, he is forced to retreat to bed, where he can recline and use his laptop.  The assistant said it could be adjusting to the medications, but to continue monitoring his activities and responses.

Some things, I know are exhausting.  Showers and baths, once accomplished so easily, are always difficult when confronted with physical disabilities.  In my own case, I know that I can’t jump out of bed, into the shower, and then run off to a long day of driving, shopping, and appointments.  Once I considered that normal, even desirable.  Now, I’d be in trouble at the jumping out of bed portion.

Since I had my accident, I had not driven much, and avoided distances of any kind, usually just driving locally if I was “going solo.”  Now, I don’t feel Greg is up to driving himself, because the exhaustion is as hazardous as being impaired by medications.  I know which medications I use that cause me to be less attentive than usual, and on the days when I drive, I don’t take them.  Granted, this results in some discomfort, and I do have alternatives to help take that discomfort down a notch, such as a very expensive topical NSAID my doctor prescribes for me to use.  I do the driving, and the used SUV we bought last year has features I need to make driving safer and easier for me, such as most of the controls in the steering wheel, good visibility, easy access in and out, and easy to operate doors.  I’m very glad that I annoyed the car salesman that day with my insistence that I tried every single door, got into the back seat, laid down the back seat, put it back up, tried the hatch several times, and then did a test drive to check the visibility and ease of operation.  I was having a hard time with our wheezy old mini-van, with everything from visibility to getting into it, and found the back doors and hatch almost impossible to manage.  While we still have the van, it hasn’t been anywhere in a while, and I have no intentions of trying to drive it now.  It’s sort of a “back up plan” more than a used vehicle now, especially with Greg out of commission.

Our lives have changed.  I’m not going to say for the worse, because change doesn’t always come down to good or bad, and trying to decide that while you are still adjusting is just not the brightest idea.  We’re having to learn how to ask for help.  Nobody likes to do that, especially when they have a lifetime of self-sufficiency behind them.  Now, we’re struggling with everything from financial difficulties to difficulties doing yard work, house work, and repairs on the house.

Usually, when our son in law and daughter come to visit, we’re at a loss for what to keep him busy–he’s somewhat hyper and becomes bored if we don’t have a project to complete.  Now, I have a list of things for the next visit, ranging from replacing a light fixture to some digging and trimming I need completed outside.  The real trick will be keeping Greg from trying to help, something that is apt to result in disaster right now.

I have to take a more active interest in everything from his medications to his activity levels now.  We had always had a somewhat independent view of each other, supporting each other but not interfering.  Now, I have to interfere and nag, and the nagging is something I really don’t like having to do.  I’m going to also have to take a more pushy attitude towards interacting with the doctors, including calling tomorrow to ask for an explanation for why he cannot do the walking he is supposed to be doing, and double checking the levels of his prescribed medication compared to that of what the assistant thought they were.

So yes, I have been busy.  I’ve also been scared and worried.  I’ve been concerned, and I’ve gone through every other emotion that a person can experience.  We’ve had to change everything from dreams  to hopes to our present reality from what it had been even a month ago.  We’re still adjusting.  At the same time, we’re still trying to keep doing the things we had always liked and enjoyed.

Greg missed one radio show (he hosts Voice of the People on Saturdays at 6 pm Central)  while he was in the hospital.  The first show after his release was the first Saturday he was home.  He intends to keep doing them too.  Yes, it did leave him exhausted.  Even so, I had beat him on exhaustion level, as I had planted 1 blueberry, 8 peppers, a rosemary plant and 2 tomatoes yesterday, as well as preparing two meals.  I’ll confess, after we ate dinner (after his show), I passed out trying to watch some program.  I  think it was something about ancient Alexandria.  I slept for two hours, and felt much better afterwards.  Of course, a late “nap” like this meant I had trouble going to bed, which then rippled out even further to a late start the next morning.

For now, its just a case of adapting to the things we can’t change.  It’s also a case of exploring the parameters of these new restrictions, and identifying permanent and temporary ones.  Maybe it is always a case of your point of perception.  I have decided that it isn’t so much a case of “can’ts” as it is a case of “how”?  It’s a new experience, and the things we learn can help expand our own world as well as be shared with others to help them escape things that can be so restrictive.

I love Greg, I want him to be as healthy as possible, I want him to live as long as possible, and I want to share the things that make us both happy with him.  We aren’t giving up dreaming, but we may adjust those dreams to deal with the people we are now and the ones we will become in the future.

Nobody enjoys lessons in humility, and perhaps that’s what we are now experiencing.

Turning back time

“Some people want to turn back their odometers, but not me.  I want everyone to know why I look like this, I traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved!”

I don’t know the author of that quote, but it appeared in my Facebook feed this morning.  I think it’s true.

Yeah, I look very little like the twenty-something I once was, and most days, I don’t even resemble the person I was even at 40-something.  That’s okay.  I even did one of those things that gauges our health and lifestyle to give us our true age.  It seems I’m going at ultra-high speed through life–I’m fifteen years older by their calculations than I really am.  Maybe that makes me a time traveler?  Or just high mileage?  More dirt roads than the average Joe or Jane?

I’m not perfect either.  The whole thing about our appearance, our age, and our life experience isn’t to end our lives looking as though we were never touched by our living it.  We cannot escape this life alive in our physical form.

I sure hope I don’t have to carry that worn out form as I continue my journey either!

I have had some wonderful experiences.  I’ve had some that plunged me to the depths of hell too.  I’ve felt betrayal, and I’ve felt immense gratitude.  Happiness, sadness, wonder, anger..I’ve tried all of the emotions on, more than once.  Some fit me better than others, I’ll admit.

I especially like contentment, happiness, and joy.  I wish they would hang around longer every time I get to try them out.

Another confession.  I don’t have a bucket list anymore.

I made one of those, back when I was young, angry, and optimistic.  I was eighteen.  It seems like a century ago now, and I’ve traveled a lot of miles.  I just discovered that I’ve done all of the things on that bucket list.  Now that doesn’t mean I’m done living.  There are plenty of things I still want to do, it’s just there is no more bucket list of them.

I still want to see the Atlantic.  I want to visit New England, and if I’m really lucky, it will be when I can see the changing leaves, to see if it’s any different from any other area’s changing of leaves as fall swallows up summer.  If I don’t make it then, well, the other three seasons  have appeal too.

I want to take my granddaughter on a road trip/camping trip, along with Greg too, of course.  I want to watch her experience the joy of slow travel, random stops, and brand new things.  I love seeing her face light up with pleasure, to be honest.  She is a little too young to enjoy it yet, but soon she’ll be old enough.  Nothing beats the joy of a child’s face as they discover something new.

I still want to see a moose, in the wild.  From an appropriate distance, of course.  I spent two weeks once in active pursuit of one.  I followed every local lead as to where they “always” could be found.  Never saw one.  I’m half convinced they are surely fictional, because I’ve never been able to prove their existence.

I’d like to try off shore fishing once.  I have a bit of a boat phobia, I’m afraid.  I’ve managed to conquer it, by and large, but…I still haven’t done that.  I’ll admit, I’m a bit afraid of it. What if I hate it, am miserable, and ruin the trip for my companions?

There are so many things I still want to do.  I’m not done.  I’m not too old and worn out by a long shot.

Today, the glow I felt from my novel being released on Kindle has faded.  Now, that little green guy is up on my shoulder having a field day with feeding my self-doubts.  The little green guy is sure everyone is going to hate it, and that I’m going to be tarred and feathered for writing it.

I tried telling him that tar and feathers are out of  style, forgotten like hoop skirts and corsets, but he isn’t buying it.

That little green guy, I call him Fear, sits on my shoulder and whispers in my ear all of the time.  He’s been there my whole life.  When I was younger, I listened to him more.  I was often afraid to try things that were too far from the  norm or that weren’t socially acceptable.  Maybe that’s part of being  young, that Fear can control you more.  As I’ve gotten older, he’s had less influence.  Maybe because I have faced my worst fear, and realized that I could survive even that.  Since that Worst Fear was conquered, after a fashion, how much can just plain little green guy  named Fear really influence me?  Now he’s like a cranky old friend, whispering into my ear, but half the time I just laugh at him and go on doing what I wanted to do.  Sometimes, his warnings make sense, and that’s when I should pay attention.  Other times, he’s just afraid of things becoming uncomfortable for him.

Yes, I talk to him sometimes.  Does that make me crazy?  Heck, compared to the Ladies of Fate, the little green guy named Fear riding on my shoulder is mild stuff.  Even HE is afraid of what the Ladies of Fate can do.  Surely, I’m not really crazy…everybody needs a few imaginary friends traveling through life with them, don’t they?  They provide me with entertainment, advice, trials and tribulations, and once in a while, a real thrill.

But, I don’t want to turn back time.  I’ve had a really interesting life so far, and I’m anticipating more.  Who’d want to risk ruining that?

 

Cell phones

Cell phones, those amazing little gadgets we’ve all become so dependent on, to the point that many of us no longer have a traditional land-line based telephone in our homes.

They are also something we’ve begun to get increasingly aggravated with, as carriers lock us into long term contracts with high financial penalties if we attempt to cancel the contracts for any reason.  Those contracts can look very attractive initially, but as time moves forward, and our lives change, they often become increasingly unwieldy monkeys riding on our backs.

Especially in the economy that has plagued us the last five years.

Faced with shifting fortunes, rising costs, and shrinking incomes, many people are desperate to reduce their monthly expenses, to get them to the point that their outgoing bills are less than their income.  That’s something our government isn’t very good at, not only for themselves, but for their constituents.  Corporations, however, seemed to have perfected the art of extracting blood from turnips.

With your cell phone carrier, they often have you over a barrel.  You can’t afford the monthly expense, but you certainly can’t afford the cancellation fee, or the negative notation on your credit history.  There aren’t a lot of options available, especially when you desperately need that cell phone, whether because it’s your sole connection with the outside world, or because you are searching for a job.

There are a few things, especially when faced with a temporary financial crunch, as well as some other things you can do to prevent being caught in the contract bind, while not causing undue financial hardship.

First, resist the urge to “upgrade” your phone at a reduced initial cost and renewing your contract.  This is where the cell phone companies are dangling a carrot out there, intending to keep you on THEIR treadmill.  Resist the temptation, and either continue using your old cell phone or buy another outright.  To keep costs down, you can often buy a used phone via Ebay or other outlets.  Do your research, make sure that the make and model is compatible with your carrier, as well as has some kind of guarantee from the seller that it will arrive in good condition.  You’ll still have to pay an activation fee.

If you don’t actually need a smart phone, skip the trend, stick with a basic function phone, which often can be used on a smaller data package.  These smaller plans without large data packages can save $10 or more per month, which can quickly add up.

Don’t add lines.  Each line comes with an additional contract, usually 24 months long.  If you have a need for additional phones, consider a prepaid option instead.  Then, if it turns out that it’s not needed anymore, you aren’t faced with an unnecessary bill.

If you are locked into a contract situation, and desperately need to cut your bills, there are a few options available.  Check to see if you can change the plan itself without altering your contract.  This option exists with many cell phone companies, and by switching to a basic phone with fewer bells and whistles, you can often cut your plan as much as a hundred dollars a  month.  Don’t cut it so short that you end up going over your limits however, overages are very expensive with many companies.

There is also the option of “suspending” your contract temporarily, usually up to 3 months.  This may have a monthly service charge, but it will allow you time to get your finances under control.

If you are not locked into a contract, you may want to explore other options, even if your finances and job situation looks bright and cheery.  By avoiding the contracts, you are free to explore other options as they become available, without having to wait.  That means everything from the latest iPhone to the different packages available.  It also means that if you are suddenly offered the perfect job in some exotic location, you won’t be biting off a chunk of that “early termination fee.”  Numerous companies offer prepaid plans, some even have iPhones and other smart phones available, complete with unlimited data and minute plans.  Straight Talk, available through Walmart, is one of them.  It is also serviced by the Big Three in cell phone providers: AT&T, Sprint, and Verizon, depending on your location.  If you move and your old phone isn’t served in the new area, the problem is solved by simply purchasing another phone, and you are never stuck with a two year contract that leaves all of the cards in the cell phone company’s hands.

Contracts, ranging from one to three years, have become the bane of the consumer’s life.  They are everywhere, increasingly restrictive, designed to reduce competition for our dollars for years at a time, and ultimately reducing the level of service we manage to choke out of the various corporations.  Once you are locked into their services, its virtually impossible to change suppliers, no matter how terrible their service becomes.  It’s not a good trend, especially in a world that has increasing numbers of monopolies to which the consumers are becoming enslaved.

We don’t really have a choice about our electric, natural gas, water, cable, or land based telephone service, yet these companies want to often lock us into contracts to continue receiving their services, and leave the consumer with early termination fees if they decide to move out of their service area.  Cell phone companies do the same thing, using the carrot of reduced cost cell phones to entice customers to their two year enslavement.

To make it even worse, a cell phone is locked to a specific carrier, preventing the consumer from going to another carrier and acquiring service for that phone.  That means even if you aren’t locked into a contract and have a $500 cell phone, you have to buy their service, or buy another cell phone.  Is this really fair?  After all, you bought the cell phone, not leased it.  The cost was not subsidized by the cell phone company.

Something has to be done about all of these corporate monopolies with their abilities to turn us into their indentured serfs for years at a time.  In the meantime, the only way we can avoid that trap ourselves is to carefully read the fine print, avoid contracts with penalties for early termination, and learn to pay as we go.  Prepaid cell phones are one option, and unlike the early days when their fees were outrageously high, they have become increasingly competitive.  Today, Straight Talk, one of the larger prepaid companies, is part of TracFone, and it is marketed through Walmart.  Their unlimited voice and data plans are $45 per month, with no contract and no penalties if you don’t like it, but you do have to purchase the phone, which range in cost from about $19 to nearly $500, depending on features, models, and brands.  Their customers seem to be about equally as satisfied as those who are paying $110 or more for the same service with a contract.

So what does a person really get with the additional $65?

You get a two  year contract, and a reduced price on your phone, plus a $35 activation fee.  That means that at $110 per month, you will pay an extra $1595 for that cell phone in lieu of just purchasing it and going with a cheaper prepaid plan.  Outside of that, there is little difference between companies.  Sure, there is “tech support” with your contract phone, but have you ever used it?  Did it offer you any help?

There’s another reason to consider the no-contract phone.  In the case of a Straight Talk phone, Walmart offers a protection plan that includes water & humidity damage, and costs from $6 on up, depending on the initial cost of your phone.  With most companies, the “insurance” on your phone is about $7 per month, and in the event of water or humidity damage, the replacement can cost you $100 or more, as well as has to be mailed to you anyhow.  With Walmart’s protection plan, there is apparently no deductible on the phone, which means that the difference (in 2 years) can be over $160 per month for better coverage.

Then there are the hidden charges on contract cell phone service, all of those mysterious taxes and service fees that really will surprise you, as they approach increasing the price 20-25% per month.  Without the contract, the fees are included, providing you with a manageable price per month that can be adapted to  your budget.

Sure, there are no “discounts” on the phones initially.  They have to be paid for, along with shipping (if you don’t pick it up in the store) and taxes.  But…in the first two years alone, assuming you don’t damage the phone or get a huge desire to have the latest iPhone or smart phone, you will save $1757, minus the cost of your phone.  Even the phone’s cost may not be as high as you think–it isn’t uncommon for the phone from the carrier to cost $100-300 more than your “discount”, leaving you with a big bill.  The same phone or a similar phone with similar features, may be available from a no-contract program at roughly the same price.

The no contract phones are also an excellent idea for parents with a child acquiring their first cell phone, a teen with a new cell phone, or even a college student’s cell phone needs.  It means no surprise overages resulting in bill shock.  An inexpensive phone for calls and simple texting can be a solution for a child, who is more likely to lose or damage a phone.  (Loss is not part of the coverage from Walmart’s protection plan.)  If a cell phone is lost, there are also no worries that there will be calls to Dubai and Hong Kong suddenly appearing on your bill either.  These cheap cell phones can also be considered a temporary or “throw away” solution to a short term cell phone need–if an additional phone is needed during an emergency or travel.  They also offer international plans, handy if calling out of the country, as well as plans for 3 months, 6 months, or a full  year.  Imagine trying to pay a year in advance on your contract phone!

I’ve talked to customers that have used Straight Talk, and they are generally happy with the service they have received, whether it was their first cell phone or a replacement for the contract cell phone.  I also know people with a number of other carriers, including Sprint, AT&T, Verizon, and C-Spire.  The ones with other carriers are usually not as happy, and often are chafing at the bit for their contract to end, whether for financial reasons or because another company offers a desirable service or phone that is not available with their current carrier.  Sometimes it is due to relocation, and the service available in their new area is not as good as it was in the old area, leaving them paying for substandard reception or perks such as a local store that repairs their phone.

With a no-contract service, you are still free to choose to use a traditional contracted service at any time, if it turns out that you aren’t happy with it.  The sole complaint that I have noticed with no-contract services is number portability–it can be expensive, not available, or a pain.  If this is not an issue, one way to test the waters is to buy an inexpensive phone from one of the companies and try it before terminating your contract.

The phones can be served by one of three carriers, and not all carriers are available in all areas, and even in the areas that they are available, they may not offer the same type of reception.  There are also many issues with both 3G and 4G service, especially in small towns and rural areas.  Read reviews, find out which phones are served by the company that offers the best service for your area, as well as the areas in which you frequently travel.  In my case, I know that Verizon does not service the area in which my daughter lives, and therefore, I would not consider using Verizon as a contract carrier OR via a prepaid program.  Unfortunately, both AT&T and Sprint have spotty coverage throughout the rural areas of my home state, so either one could also leave me without a signal while traveling elsewhere.  That problem is true for most of us in the United States–no carrier provides complete coverage anywhere.

In addition to prepaid plans from companies like TracFone, the cell phone companies often offer a prepaid plan.  Unfortunately, they often don’t let you use the same phone that you may have used with their contract service, requiring you to purchase a different phone (at full price, with limited choices.)  Even with that, for many people, their services may be a better option.

Avoid the contracts when possible, and keep your independence and freedom of choice–it’s the best choice for your financial future as well.  Never set yourself up to end up with a big bill by adding friends or relatives to  your contract service unless you truly are independently wealthy.  Instead, opt for the no-contract version, even if you purchase the phone and plan, you will protect yourself from unexpectedly large bills in the future.

Write your representatives and senators, asking them to offer the consumer relief from these unwieldy contracts that favor the corporations, as well as to legally unlock cell phones and make them able to work with any carrier, and removing the monopolies that plague us all.  It’s high time that corporations began being accountable for their services, rather than able to rape the consumer with high rates, poor service, and long contracts with large penalties.

How to deal with Tassimo customer service

It may come as a huge surprise, but I am often curious about those who read my blog, including those who find it via a search engine.  So, with that at the forefront of my mind, I checked the stats on this blog.  Most of them weren’t a surprise, but the really big surprise is how often people read it because of their Tassimo machine and its accompanying woes.

I can really relate to that.

I loved the machine, and despised the company and their utter lack of effective customer service.  I despised it so much that the machine was discarded.  Today, I get my coffee with a cheap $10 drip coffee maker, a stove top expresso pot or via my Melitta little plastic filter holder that sits on top of my mug and drips the boiling water through the grounds and into my waiting mug below.  If I want hot milk added, it is heated either on the stove or in the microwave, and then frothed with a little battery operated frother.

I’m certain that a huge chunk of the reason I ended up with high blood pressure was dealing with Tassimo’s customer service.

It really IS that bad.

It also made me think very hard about my priorities.

If customer service for a product is so bad that it causes me that much stress, does it really matter how well the machine performs?

In my case, I decided that the Tassimo machine was nearly the devil incarnate.  Yes, when the machine worked, I loved the coffee it produced.  I loved the convenience of having a hot latte, plain coffee, or expresso on demand, with no more preparation than plopping a disk into the machine.  That part was great.  It was attempting to order disks from Tassimo, as well as trying to deal with a malfunctioning machine, that drove me to the point of screaming fury.

Even worse, it wasn’t just once.  It was over and over as I tried to resolve issues and problems.

By the time the replacement machine arrived, there was such a bad taste in my mouth at even the mere thought of “Tassimo” that the coffee tasted like crap.  I still had several unopened packages of the coffees for the machine when I realized that until I got rid of it, it would be like some mechanical demon haunting my life, disrupting my personal pool of tranquility, and generally introducing chaos and conflict into it.

There was no other answer.

That machine had to go.  It had become my own version of “Christine” as a coffeemaker, with its own life and agenda, and they were in direct conflict with mine.  Judging from the sheer number of people searching for information on how to deal with Tassimo customer service, I wasn’t alone.  For those who want a summary of the blow by blow experience in 2010 with Tassimo customer service (and that term is used VERY loosely here!) I’ve listed the blog entries from that period of time.  The final chapter, the disposal of the machine, isn’t given its own entry.  I just wanted to get it out of my life without further incident.

1. September 1, 2010 blog entry: Consumer anger and my Tassimo coffee maker
2. September 10, 2010 blog entry: Quitting smoking and the Tassimo Fiasco update
3. September 22, 2010 blog entry: Tassimo customer service round 2 plus Slovenia, China, Asia, Mexico and more!
4. October 14, 2010 blog entry: Tassimo Customer (cough inserted here) Service–Round 3
5. October 22, 2010 blog entry: Tassimo saga continues…
6. October 26, 2010 blog entry: The Tassimo saga continues…and still no machine!
7. October 28, 2010 blog entry: Tassimo Customer Service Saga continues-the first 24 hours
8. October 29, 2010 blog entry: Tassimo does it again!!!!!!!
9. October 29, 2010 blog entry: Tassimo does it again! Part 2
10. October 31, 2010 blog entry: Tassimo miracle? IT ARRIVED
11. November 3, 2010 blog entry: To be or not to be: the Tassimo

For those who are still dealing with Tassimo and their customer service, here are some suggestions.

1. Call daily, even though it is inconvenient and aggravating.  Return the favor.
2. Write down the representative’s name, the date and time of the call, and what you are told by that representative about your problem.
3. If you get conflicting information or a non-responsive representative (almost guaranteed that this will happen) ask to speak to a supervisor.
4. Write down the supervisor’s name, as well as the date and time and a summary of what you are told.
5. Tell others about your experience, and maybe someone will be spared the indignities and aggravation that you are experiencing.  Post your reviews everywhere you can.  Some suggested locations are the retail website of the store from which you purchased the machine, Viewpoints, and Pissed Consumer.   Don’t forget Tassimo’s own website.
6. Always stay polite, even when you really wish you could climb through the phone line and strangle the representative…slowly.
7. Don’t give up.  For me, it took about two months to resolve the problem, at least “sort of” resolve the problem. Tassimo does not move quickly to give satisfaction to the consumer.
8. Above all, don’t let the experience ruin your life.  It’s aggravating, but letting companies get by with crappy customer service is also not acceptable.

With all of that said, good luck with YOUR Tassimo.  I hope your experience is better than mine was.

Sears, housing, and our economy

Sears & Roebuck…remember them?  If you do, you are probably in the same age group as me.

I’m no huge historian of Sears trivia, but when I was a kid, we had two fat catalogs that were staples in our house.  The Sears catalog and the “Monkey Wards” (Montgomery Wards) catalog.  At Christmas time, as children, we’d pour through the Christmas catalog, wishing and dreaming.

I think it was the same for my mother’s generation, and probably her mother’s as well.  Those catalogs had everything from underwear to roller skates and appliances in them.  I remember hearing stories from days gone by how the black & white pages were the best during the recycling process.  That’s when they became toilet paper in the outhouse, and I have to admit…I’m not sorry to have missed THOSE days.

I do know that long before I was born, Sears used to sell houses too.  Not like a real estate agent, but rather as kits that the proud new owner could assemble himself.  The kits came complete with plans and all of the lumber, siding, nails, windows, floors, etc.  They had a number of plans available, and once ordered, the complete house kit would be shipped to the nearest railroad station, where the new owner would pick it up in their wagon and bring home to assemble.  I guess it would be considered the ancestor of what is today regarded as “pre-fab”, manufactured, or modular housing.

Wouldn’t it be cool if such a thing was still available?  The novelty of having your house arrive in some crates, with pre-cut lumber and all of the other bits you needed to finish your house, right down to the paint?  Oh, and that it was made to conform to building codes too.

Yeah, dream on, right?

Still, with the new leaning towards smaller-is-better in terms of actual footprints, I think it’s an idea that could do with some revisiting.  The kits, built to UBC’s standards, would have a set of plans that you purchased prior to purchasing the house kit itself, to allow  you to get your permit to erect it.  Then, when you had your approval for the house to be built on your site, the kit would arrive.  Maybe there would be pre-assembled panels that bolted together, maybe it would be mostly cut-to-length lumber and other parts, but it could be done.  The directions would include which points you stop for the various inspections along the way too.  It could be done, I’m certain of it.

But Sears doesn’t sell house kits anymore.  I’m not sure if they even have a catalog anymore.  I don’t bother shopping there anymore either, and it seems that a lot of America has quit shopping there.  Have you stopped to think of why that has happened?

Even when my kids were young, Sears still did the catalog thing.  Sure, you could go into the local store and there were some things in stock to buy, but most of what I bought was ordered out of the catalog.  It arrived in the store for pickup a week or two after I ordered it.  I’d go in, pay cash for my order, and take the treasured item home with me. I ordered a number of things from Sears back then, from my boots for work to my daughter’s canopy bed.  It was easy, economical, and accessible.

Then, they closed down those Mom & Pop franchises, after they nationalized or whatever their repair process too.

Remember how reliable the Sears repair people used to be?  You called, you got a repairman out in a day or two at the latest.  Then, they did their standardizing thing, and the repairman wasn’t local and you had to call some distant call center to get a repairman, who wasn’t coming to fix that broken washer/refrigerator/dryer/whatever for at least a week.  In addition, try explaining where you are located when you live in a remote rural area to someone who has never visited your state.

They told me my address didn’t exist.  Repeatedly.

Then, when I finally DID get a repairman…he was late, rude, and generally made me very uncomfortable with being alone in the house with him.  That was the last Sears appliance I ever bought.  Catalog shopping and appliances were out with Sears, and with the nearest store suddenly over an hour away, in a much larger town, they now were competing solely with other department stores in the mall, in terms of availability, location, and prices.

For me, they didn’t make the cut.  Other department stores seemed to offer more, with more courteous service, for the same or less in terms of dollars.  I already disliked Sears, and they weren’t doing anything to win me back.

As the years went by, there were fewer and fewer reasons to go to Sears.   Then, the internet exploded onto the scene, and suddenly, catalog shopping was back, with new interactive online versions.  Payment was instant, shipping was faster, and companies could let us know within minutes if an item was in stock or not.  Who needed Sears anymore?

Well, it seems that Sears is reaping the benefits of their actions of the past.  Crappy customer service, shoddy imported goods, poor repair service habits, and boom…about all they had going for their company was the credit card.  With the economic bust we’ve had, credit wasn’t a very good business all of a sudden, as more and more people began defaulting on credit lines they could no longer afford.  Sears is in trouble, and now they are bringing in a new CEO.

Will it work?

I am not a financial expert, but I am a very experienced consumer.  Unless Sears begins to give the customer a reason to continue shopping with them, there won’t be much for repeat business.   Crappy customer service and shoddy imported goods are a dime a dozen these days–it’s everywhere.  America is about up to its gills in outsourced customer service and manufacturing too.

If Sears wants to survive, let alone thrive, in the modern times, maybe it better think about covering the basics and standing out from the crowd.  Sure, it’s cheaper to hire a call center in some foreign country, just like it is to have your goods manufactured in countries that have lower pay rates and fewer safety regulations to protect the workers, but that doesn’t mean that cheaper is better.

So what are the basics?  It starts with  your employees, that’s the ones that do customer service.  It’s the ones that make the difference in the stores and on the phone and online too.  Then, it’s what you are selling.  America wants decent goods.  It really does help if they are actually made in America.

What works for Sears is what made Mom & Pop stores across America thrive before the advent of cheap imported goods and massive discount corporations.  We’re struggling, we’re uncertain, and we want security and familiarity.  I’d rather go buy a vacuum cleaner from my neighbor than to go to a store where there are thousands of them lined up in a row and I may as well be receiving assistance from a robot as I make my choice.  I want someone who can answer my questions.  I want a company that promises and delivers service, whether it is during the purchase or when I need the item repaired.  I want to be treated fairly.

I am American.  I am a consumer.  I am their customer.

I would like to be treated with courtesy and respect.  Wouldn’t you?

I think it is long past time for these struggling stores and chains to begin recognizing that basic desire in their prospective and current customers.  There is a reason why a few companies are surviving and thriving, while others are not.  It’s not just about the lowest bottom line, despite the fact that most of us have a lot less to spend than we used to.  It’s about being treated fairly and decently too.  Going shopping should not make us feel like we’re “girding our loins” for a battle.  We shouldn’t be made to feel inferior.  When we have a complaint about something, we shouldn’t ever have a store manager claim we are an “uneducated consumer”.  (I have actually had that happen with one big box electronic store–she called me to chew me out for giving the store a poor rating after a negative experience with an ignorant clerk and very limited stock in the item I was looking for.)

Wake up, corporations.  The natives are getting restless.

How green are you really?

We all hear about being more green.  We may even be making an effort to be more green.  We buy things that are supposed to be green.  We pay attention to advertisements for products that are supposed to be more green.  But…really, are we being very green at all?

We forget that even new products have a carbon footprint.  It costs “carbon” to gather the raw materials, to make them, to ship them, and then to sell them to you, for you to transport them home.  There’s a huge footprint with advertising alone, with the television, radio, internet and print advertisements.  It’s also sucked away a good chunk of your time.  Then, there are the things that nobody mentions.

Like how hard it is to recycle OR dispose of those massive but inefficient batteries for your “green” hybrid car?  How green are they really?

Or those “green” products that are made in some distant country?  All that transportation needed?

Even your “organic” vegetables, fruit, meat, and grain…how far did that have to travel to get to your grocers’ store?  How green is that really?

It’s not practical for us all to change our lives to the simpler ways of our grandparents and great grandparents.  We don’t have a world like that anymore.  We can’t all be homesteaders, there just isn’t enough land for that either.  There are just too many people for all of that.  So what should we all be doing?

Obviously recycling is a really good start.  Collecting metals and plastics and glass, sorting them, sending them to be remanufactured into new goods…it saves resources because they are merely being remanufactured.  But…is that the best option really?

Why not consider used items?

Used items are being re-used for their original purpose.  They save money because they cost less.  They are often very high quality items.  After all, shoddy goods often don’t survive long enough to become “used”, instead becoming “trash”.  This covers everything from motor vehicles to toys to clothing to household goods.

Sure, you have to pay attention when you buy items that are used to make sure that they are in good condition, capable of serving their purpose, whether it is to boil water or cover your head or drive you down the road.  On some items, you also need to pay attention and do some research to ensure they meet current safety standards.  This especially is important in regards to baby gear.

Most items that we can easily purchase used will include household goods, clothing, motor vehicles, outdoor gear, sporting goods, and items such as this.  Certain items are not recommended to purchase used, such as under garments and mattresses.

Many people assume that the only reason someone is selling an used item is because it is “no good” anymore.  That isn’t true.  There are many reasons why everything from electronics, clothing, books, home appliances, and other items may enter the market as “used” items.  Some of the reasons may include things such as:

• estate sale
• not the correct size
• moving
• reducing amount of material goods owned
• not used often
• doesn’t fit current needs
• change in lifestyle
• need to raise cash

Some of the reasons that someone should consider used goods include:

• need to save money
• item is no longer in production
• desirable item for collection
• desire to reduce carbon imprint
• better value
• age
• raw materials used
• fits current decor
• from particular era
• quickly recycles cash through local economy via the seller’s wallet

These are all valid reasons to consider used goods.  Even so, many people feel somewhat embarrassed by purchasing used items, as though it implies some deficiency in their own character.  This is obviously not true, and becomes a case of adjusting one’s perspective into proper alignment with the whole concept of being green and recycling.  Being a savvy shopper when it comes to used goods requires a bit more education and effort perhaps than being the average mall shopper though.

So what is important to know when shopping for used goods?

Know what an item costs new of comparable quality

Know what the market is

Have familiarity with older models/products, especially when considering home appliances and electronics.

Once upon a time, being a savvy shopper in the used world meant lots of effort and experience.  Today, with the internet, it’s much easier.  We can all compensate for our lack of experience with a few clicks of the mouse, and often, we can even locate our desired items just as easily.  There are online auction sites such as Ebay, as well as online versions of the old fashioned newspaper want ad showing listings of items for sale, and there is also the listing features of Craigslist.  We’ve all heard horror stories of people being robbed and worse during transactions, but a few common sense rules help keep everyone safe.

1. Don’t send cash with a service that doesn’t keep records (such as Western Union) for items you don’t have in-hand.
2. Don’t go to a stranger’s house alone, especially with a large sum of cash for the transaction.
3. If using an online auction service, read their recommendations at their website.  They like their buyers to also be happy, and will have some guidelines to help you be a safe and happy customer.

In addition to these ideas, there are other venues for finding used goods and helping you save both your wallet and the planet from unnecessary impact.  These include:

• thrift stores, often charity operated
• second hand stores
• flea markets and swap meets
• local papers, including the free want ad papers that most areas have
• local dealers

When you shop at these local businesses, whether charity operated or operated for profit, you are also helping your local economy.  The money you spend is often very quickly recycled into your community, whether through the charity’s efforts or the spending of a shop owner or clerk.  That is always a plus, in any community.

This time of  year, people’s minds are often focused on purchasing gifts, and  yet often disregard the possibility of a “used” gift, fearful of some sort of stigma.  It’s time to rethink  that way of regarding used items.  Used items, which also include both antique and vintage goods, are often excellent buys, costing far less than comparable new items, even if similar quality can be found.  In addition, they have the added allure of showing that you honestly put a lot of effort and thought into the purchase, considering everything from planetary input to the recipient’s desires as you sought the perfect gift for them.

So how do you know what kind of a vintage, antique, or used item to buy for a gift?

Consider the person carefully.  What are their interests?  How old are they?  Do they have any heroes in their life?  What is their lifestyle?

Once you have a list of these things, start shopping.  Ebay is easy, as you can do it from home with just a few clicks of the mouse.  It also lets you examine goods from a wide area than you can reach in your car, as well as harmlessly learning prices and how the ads are worded.  You may get other ideas as you shop too.

A vintage pair of skis might not be interesting to your grandma, but for the ski buff they might be perfect for their den’s decor.  Your sister might be in love with an old tea kettle that resembles the one that grandma used to have…especially when it is fitted out to display fresh or silk flowers.  Your brother in law, that high school English teacher…he might find an old English literature textbook to be a real treasure.

They aren’t used items.  They are gifts that illustrate that you cared enough about the recipient to really look for something that would touch them.  For your immediate family, it may mean that the gifts are more than mere material items, as that new bicycle/car/motorcycle/boat/canoe/kayak can also become a project of camaraderie as it is restored to like new condition or customized.  Maybe instead of just a new backpack, it’s a whole set up for camping, allowing the family to affordably go on a vacation when the weather and schedules cooperate for a getaway.  It can mean the difference between one new electronic gizmo in the latest model and the entire family receiving the not-so-latest model.

For our day to day needs, buying used items can mean we spend 10% or less of what the new items would cost, an important consideration especially when clothing someone who quickly changes sizes (like a child) or ruins clothes often (children or adults) whether due to work or play.  It allows a person to change their wardrobe according to shifting tastes, seasons, styles, and needs without spending an inordinate amount of money too.

For household goods, it saves an incredible amount of money, especially since many items may be only needed for a brief time, such as a specialized baking pan, platter, etc. Items such as these are often found at a fraction of their original prices, and by searching for these items online, there is often a staggering array available, far more than any local department store could possibly offer.

Used items can also be reshaped, retaining most of their original purpose, but getting an artistic twist from those that are so inclined.  Whether it is refinishing a piece of furniture, embellishing a sweater, or remaking a table cloth into curtains…this too is a possibility.

Used goods do no mean that you are impoverished.  Used goods means you are smart enough to save a lot, both in terms of our planet and your wallet.